Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Colodolo in the news!

Yes, it's Collorarardo in the news! Let's get-r-done:

  • Man shoves granddaughter at Elks (I mean, elks):

    A California man has been jailed in Larimer County on charges that he shoved his 6-year-old granddaughter dangerously close to a herd of calving elk in Estes Park.

    Harold Wellsted, 63, is also accused of hitting a 58-year-old Fort Collins woman who protested what he was doing and then knocking down her 82-year-old father, who had been using a walker, police said.

    This guy was a piece of work:

    Wellsted, who was wanted on a child abuse warrant out of California, has also been charged with assaulting an Estes Park officer in the booking room of the jail, said Estes Park Police Commander Wes Kufeld. . . .

    Witnesses told police that a van pulled up and a woman, an older man and two young children got out. The family stepped over the fence and approached the elk, witnesses said.

    "The grandfather . . . grabbed the 6-year-old child and pushed her toward the elk and told her to get up there so he could take a picture," Kufeld said.

    One of the elk began rearing up and the child began to cry, Kufeld said. The witnesses began yelling at Wellsted. They said he approached one woman and hit her. Then he shoved her father to the ground, Kufeld said.

  • In wildly unrelated news, the Post notes that Denver had its best year ever for tourism. (Tourism Bureau motto: Do like Harold and bring the family!)

  • The Denver MSM are pissed off that Sheriff Mink of Jefferson County won't release videotapes made by the Columbine killers.

  • Two CU researchers have discovered why mothballs cause cancer. Scary quote:

    Mothballs contain naphthalene, and some air fresheners have
    para-dichlorobenzene or PDCB, both proven carcinogens.

    Air fresheners cause cancer? The Drunkablog demands to know: what are air fresheners?

  • The Post editorialates: Quit giving money to bums, ya morons! It's a real problem; the bums (homeless! sorry!) are on almost every busy corner, holding their cardboard signs, smoking their rollies, and hanging out with their friends. The Drunkablog shall not quit giving them money, though; he doesn't believe in "10-year plans."

  • In disgusting pig news, the Rocky's "On the Town" columnist says Bill Clinton, in town Friday for, coincidentally, the groundbreaking of the Columbine Memorial, is a disgusting pig: Clinton eats two desserts (creme brulee and cheesecake). "'At the end of the night, he was headed to the bathroom' [no sh*t--ed.] [Strings restaurant owner] Cunningham said. 'He stopped by the big marble round table and said, 'Hey, are you guys having a good time? Isn't this a great restaurant?'"

    Can't you just hear him saying that? And all the while he's holding in a big fat--never mind. Clinton also talked about Ethiopia and signed a menu that's "already at the framers."

    Update: Yes, I added the "s" to "the framer(s)" so a stupid joke would work. Sue me (please don't sue me).

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