Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Denver firefighters "learn" of house being used to store urine to throw at police during DNC

As the Denver City Council today heard the chief of police and public safety manager urge that they enact an ordinance barring DNC protesters from carrying "certain objects," KJCT-TV in Grand Junction warned:

Denver firefighters have learned of a house full of urine being stored to throw at police. An internal memo is warning first responders that disgusting acts are a significant concern. . . .

An internal memo from Denver Health and Human Resources is warning first responders about the risks of being exposed to certain bodily fluids.

No other details. As CBS4 notes, the proposed ordinance would ban:
Any tool, object, or instrument that could block doors, entrances or streets . . . That includes chains, padlocks, handcuffs and other devices. Possessing any substance like human waste would also be illegal in protesters hands.

"I'm in touch with pretty much every group that is coming here," Glenn Spagnuolo, spokesperson for Recreate 68 said. "I don't represent every group that is coming here, but nobody is planning anything remotely close to that."
More: Denver says it won't use sound or "goo" weapons against protesters:
Denver officials expect to spend more than $18 million on police equipment for the Democratic National Convention — but the purchases apparently won't include high-tech weapons that use sonic waves to incapacitate protesters or goo guns to immobilize them.

That information, provided by the city to the American Civil Liberties Union as part of an agreement to delay a public records lawsuit, marks one of the most detailed looks yet at the super-secret efforts to provide security for the convention, scheduled Aug. 25 to 28.Denver police officials have been extremely circumspect in answering questions about either their security plans for the convention or their equipment purchases. . . .

"I'm purchasing equipment that's going to protect my officers," [police muckety-muck Michael] Battista said.

[The equipment] will not include non-lethal weapons that use "slime" or "goo" to immobilize protesters or that use microwaves or sonic waves to induce pain or other discomfort. Some convention watchers had alleged that the city might purchase a weapon that would cause people to defecate.
Crap, no crap cannon.

Update II: So if the urine depot story pans out (big if, that one), I hope they reveal in whose house the rancid pee was cached. Can you imagine that agenda item being discussed at an R68 meeting?

Scene: Gypsy House Cafe. Glenn Spagnuolo stands at one end of the room, speaking. He's wearing a gypsy dress, arm bangles and giant hoop earrings (what the hell, it's my scene). Ten or 12 people, almost all young, male, and white, are scattered around the room, listening apathetically. It's against the law, but everybody's smoking.

Glenn: Okay, item seven. We gotta start getting our piss together. Crimethinc says urine has to age at least a month before it's ready to throw. That means we need to start saving it up right now.

Anarchist 1: Fuck!

Anarchist 2: Yeah, fuck!

Glenn: Okay, simmer down. Now, what we'll do is store it in--

Anarchist 3: Milk bottles!

Glenn: Hardly anybody puts milk in bo--

Anarchist 2: Used oil cans!

Glenn: Used oil c--

Anarchist 3: A thermos! Fuck, this is hard!

Glenn: No, dude, I'm telling you what we'll use. Costco sells flats of a dozen Mason jars for $11.45. I figure ten flats, 120 jars--that should be enough for convention week.

Anarchist 1: Fuck! That's a lot of piss!

Anarchist 2: Yeah, fuck! A lot of piss!

Glenn (patiently): Yeah, a lot of piss. Okay. Now, we're gonna need a place to store the full jars. Who wants to volunteer!


Glenn: How 'bout you, Benjie?

Benjie (a defeated-looking 40-year-old wearing a threadbare t-shirt that reads, "If you can read this, thank a teacher, and by the way, you should be anally raped with a crowbar while everyone you love is shotgunned to death in front of you"): Well, I'd like to, Glenn, you know I fucking would, but see, it's the fucking wife. Brookie's already fucking bitching all the time because the boss makes me fucking work so much and I come home too fucking tired to help with the fucking kids. She'll fucking shit if she's stuck 12 hours a day by herself with the brats and dozens of fucking jars full of p--

Glenn: I get it, Benjie. (To Anarchist 1): How 'bout you, Seth?

Seth: Fuck, man, I'd really like to, but my moms is all over me already. "Why don't you get off your ass and get a job," every fucking day, the same fucking sh--hey, Glenn. Why don't we store it at your place? You know, that $335,000 house in Highlands Ranch [scroll down to update] you acquired through dark and mysterious benefactors to, you know, further the fucking revolution? Why don't we store it there?

Glenn: Meeting adjourned!

Update III: Hey ma, look at me, I'm Arthur fucking Miller!

Update IV: 9News has the text of the proposed Denver ordinance, as well as yet another quote from G. Spagnuolo:
A representative from the group Recreate '68, which plans to demonstrate during the Democratic National Convention, thinks that the most of the [sic] up to 20,000 protestors will abide the [sic] law. He questioned, though, the merits behind the ordinance.
"This is spin. This is propaganda. Plain and simple," said Glen [sic] Spagnuolo.
That's questioning the merits, all right.
Proponents of the ordinances have cited stories of protestors using human waste to deter police. Referring to conversations in regarding a similar ordinance which passed the first stage in Centennial Monday night, Spagnuolo added: "This traveling sideshow is going around to all these communities trying to scare people into thinking that what's going to happen here is so vile and so disgusting that you shouldn't be a part of it."
Many people have thought that all along, Glenn.

Update V: Bet I used the word "fuck" more times in this one post than in all the 2700-odd posts before it.

Update VI: Don't tell me they're just figuring this out. The News:

The Internet is giving Denver police a glimpse into the lengths that protesters will go to wreak havoc during the Democratic National Convention next month.

The disruptive and even dangerous tactics being advertised online are making it necessary for the city to enact a new law banning people from carrying certain items, Police Chief Gerry Whitman told City Council members Wednesday while lobbying for the proposed ordinance.

On one Web site, Whitman said, a local protest group is urging "anarchists and anti-authoritarians" to engage in a broad range of tactics to disrupt fund raising events and stop delegates from getting to the Pepsi Center to vote.

Their targets include hotels, streets intersections and transportation systems, he said. "All tactics are and would be encouraged," the chief said, reading material that was found online.
Sounds like he's talking about this from way back in March.

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