Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inaug notes

Update: If you're watching Fox: Evander Holyfield is messed up. Jesus, the reporter [update: that Leventhal guy again] is calling him "together," and he's clearly punch-drunk (as they used to call a series of TIAs caused by being hit in the head too many times).

Never started a post with an update before. The D-blog: forging fearlessly into the furture.

Update II: Geraldo is still alive?

Update III: How could one not be proud of our military? These people are way smarter than the average bear. I remember what I was like in my early 20s, sort of. A jerk. These people are funny, self-deprecating, smart, quietly confident. Altogether heroic.

Update IV: Obama's appearance at the military ball was hilarious (if that's the word). Leave aside the naked beseeching of the grunts to trust him, the interview or whatever it was he conducted with the unit in Iraq, most of whose members were from Chicago, was, um, awkward. That's a better word. The whole thing was awkward.

First problem was the satellite delay, which for the first few minutes had Barack and the soldiers speaking over each other. Whatever.

But a little ways in, Barack asked a bad question, and almost every personnel was obliged to answer: are you a Cubs fan or a White Sox fan?

This, of course, is racism (look ma, I'm a deconstructionist!). Any Illinoisoonian who heard the responses had to have laughed, knowing that the Cubs are the white team and the Sox (who play in the largely black South Side) are the black team (the St. Louis Cards, of course, are the gape-toothed sister-screwin' hillbilly southern team).

Obama is a White Sox fan (natch), but only one of the militaires was. I think there was one black person, who wasn't asked, so the lone Sox supporter was a white woman from, I think, Naperville, straight west from Chicago. I think she was tortured into claiming Sox fandom.

Update V: Think Barack and Michelle will screw like mink when they get home (the White House)? I don't. More important, do you realize the question probably never came up about Tricky Dick and Pat? Hot, hot, hot.

Update VI: Billy Baldwin on expectations for Obama: "You can't turn the Titanic around in 30 seconds." The Titanic, of course, was a big ship that sank without trying to turn around.

Sample dialogue from Titanic:

Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio): Rosie!

Rosie (a really hot Kate Winslet): Jack!

Jack: Rosie!

Rosie: Jack!

And so on. Billy Baldwin is a genius.

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