Thursday, February 23, 2006


The D-blog hasn't posted in days. Worse, he has failed to notice any buzz of alarm over this in the blogosphere. No Anyone know what's going on with the D-blog?; no I sure miss the D-blog's gentle apes (that's japes, jerk); no the D-blog makes me want to live--I hope he's okay; not even a (females only!) If the D-blog comes back I'll consent to bear his mutant children.

So you're all creeps.

But the sad fact remains that the D-blog is (once again) Out of Ideas (OI). There is nothing, nothing in the entire world I am inclined (or competent) to write about.

Z-net to the rescue!

Of course! There's always something to mock there! And look! A new piece by Noam Chomsky!

Well, not really new. I don't think Chomsky has actually written anything in years. He just spouts the same crap over and over to an endless procession of brain-dead multi-culti sycophants in reverential "interviews," one cinderblock paragraph laid after another into the far, far distance.

So as a public service I'll just go through this latest (2/22) interview and pull out sample opinionations from the Chompster. The five-minute Chomsky!

SUN WOO LEE: How is your health?

NOAM CHOMSKY: I am fine, as you can see.

[Yay.] [Sorry. Let 'er rip, Noamy-O.]

. . . . [Pollutants] are simply not controlled properly. And the reason they are not controlled is just the power of major financial institutions or corporations and others and their power over government to prevent decent regulations. In fact, the most dramatic case of all which may actually destroy the human species is the unwillingness to take appropriate steps with regard to environmental catastrophes like global warming, which could be extremely serious. And the failure to act properly on that is considered a major human crisis, which may make life unlivable for our grandchildren. . . .

[Can you imagine what this guy's farts smell like? Okay, I'll shut up.]

. . . .The first book on corporate manslaughter by a British legal specialist just appeared about seven or eight years ago. Actually he asked me to write an introduction to it, which is how I knew it appeared. And in the U.S., I am not even sure how much study there is. Powerful systems tend to have ways of immunizing themselves from punishment. Actually, that is true in all of international affairs. I mean, take the Nuremberg and Tokyo tribunals. . . .

[The grooves are worn so deep he cannot be kept out of them. He hasn't even bothered to change the way he phrases things in 40 years.]

. . . . Human beings are facing now some of the greatest threats in human history. There has been nothing like this. I mean, there have been two major crises which literally threaten survival. The most serious one is [1] nuclear war. That is a very serious problem. It is not discussed anywhere near seriously enough. But if you look at the literature of strategic analysts and others who pay attention to this, many of them regard the crisis as greater now than at any time during the Cold War. . . .

. . . .The second is [2] [that's, I say, that's 2, y'all] environmental catastrophe. That is a longer term. Nuclear war could take place tomorrow by accident. Environmental catastrophe is longer term, but it is coming and it is serious. And no one knows exactly what the effects will be. But they could be very serious. . . .


. . . .Well, the invasion of Iraq was an outright war crime. It is a clear, explicit war crime. It had no pretext, no justification and there was a reason for it: the reason was to take control of Iraq's enormous oil resources and to strengthen U.S. power in the region. I mean it is well understood by strategic analysts and international affairs specialists and has been for 50 years, that the reason the U.S. wants to control Middle East oil is not to gain access to the oil. . . . The point is
to have a strategic weapon against their rivals, meaning against Europe and Northeast Asia. . . .

["well understood by strategic analysts and international affairs specialists . . ." Now that's goooood Chomp.]

[On dealing with North Korea]

. . . . There's a way to do it. There's a very simple way to solve it. In fact, it came pretty close to working. In 1994, there was a framework agreement, which, as far as we know, stops nuclear weapons development in North Korea. In return, the West, primarily the United States, pledged to provide them with the capacity for nuclear energy development, which they need. They don't have internal resources. The West didn't live up to that bargain. . . .

[He probably thinks Kim Jong Il is the "Lodestar of the 21st Century" too.]

. . . . Israelis reflexively have to do what the U.S. tells them. . . .

[Had to get that one in. It's in every other interview. And here's Chomsky on the "fall of socialism" in the Soviet Union]

First of all, there was no fall of socialism because there was no socialism. In fact, in my view I wrote about it - the collapse of the Soviet Union was a small victory for socialism. Just the Soviet Union was one of the main barriers to it. It had been since 1970. I can go into that if you like. . . .

. . . .Take, say, the coverage of the Iraq war, the biggest issue. I mean, they claim there's criticism, but it's the kind of criticism you had in Russia during the Afghan war. Now if you read Pravda during the Afghan war, there would be critics and they'd say, "Look, too many Russian soldiers are dying. It's not working. We should put in a different general." That's the way the Iraq war is going. I mean if you went back to Pravda in the 1980s, nobody would say that "It is wrong to invade Afghanistan", or you know, "It's a violation of international law", and it would be all full of the, you know, benign intent: "We are not invading, we're there at the request of the legitimate government, we are trying to help the people." That's exactly what you read in the western press. People don't even think about it. They're so indoctrinated. They can't think about it. . . .

[Huh? Were you talking to me?]

SUN YAT SEN: Do you perceive the U.N. functions properly?

NUM CHUKSY: : There are plenty of internal problems at the UN, but they pale into insignificance in comparison with the major problem: the great powers place sharp restrictions on what the UN can
do. . . .The current UN Ambassador, John Bolton, has been quite frank in expressing his belief that the UN should not even exist except as an instrument of US power interests, primarily. . . .

[Hump de dum. La la.)

SUN WOO LEE: Are there any internet sites that you frequent?

NICK HORNSBY: Personally, I use the internet almost exclusively for research purposes, and rarely access any sites. I haven't even seen the site that friends have put up in my name:, I think it is called.

[He thinks. And as reader tbiscuit points out, that's a very odd claim C.H.O.M.P.S makes, that he uses the internet for research purposes but rarely accesses any sites. A senile attempt to claim impartiality, is my guess.]

Sun Woo Hoo: Speaking of the truth, you have pointed out that intellectuals have a special responsibility to speak the truth. What is the truth?

[HAHAHahahahaha. . . Ha-ha. Ha. Ha. Hunh. I'm so depressed.]

Update: And I'm so funny I forgot to link. Here's the whole interview.

Update II: This post somewhat rewritten (mostly condensed) because it sucked. No quotes were changed.

No comments: