Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Glorious spam

Sometimes it's just too damn funny, I claim when I need filler:

Dearest one.

Actually I did not want to discuss this matter with you before but after fasting and prayer I just decided to contact you for your help, please I real need your help. I am 20 years old girl. I leave alone because I don’t want the people who killed my late Father, to kill me too. I will be very happy if you promised me that you will keep this secret until this money arrival your care in your country.

My late Father deposited one trunk of box with a security company here before his dead and because of situation of political crisis here that led to war going on here in my country, I need some body that I will trust to come in and help me claim this consignment out from the company for the safety of my property that was deposited under there custody.Please I am contacting you for your assistance, to help me because I don't have anyone in here to help me and I don't have money to travel from here to any country please I need your assistance to stand by me and help me to transfer the box to your for future investment. You will contact the security company as SONIA MICHAEL foreign partner who want to help me and claim the box that was deposited by my late Father DR. DANE MICHAEL from Republic of sierra Leone.

My late Father did not declared the real content of the box to the security company officials. He only told them that the box is containing family valuables. You are the only person I have sent this message across to. I will like you to keep the secret until this box arrive your country.You have to promise me that you will not betray me when this box is under your care.

I will send the documents and the security company contact to you once you accept to help me. You have to give me your private phone and fax number to enable me to send the documents to you.The money inside the trunk box is Twenty two Millions Three Hundred Thousand Dollars ($22.3 Millions Dollars). I will offer you 10% for the total sum of amount, if you help me and claim this box from the security company.

You will also provide investment programme where the money will be invested properly when it arrival your hand safely. I wait to hear from you. May God bless you.

"You will also provide investment programme . . ." Whoa there, baby. I'll give you my phone and fax and even my bank and credit card numbers, but an investment programme? I'm not a banker, baby, and you're never gonna see this high roller in a monkey suit.

Favorite line: "My late father deposited one trunk of box with a security company here before his dead. . ."

Drunkablog reax: International intrigue? Ten percent of $22 (.3!) million? A "20 years old girl" I don't know calling me "dearest one?" I'm in!

Update: Message from the D-a-W in sunny Meheeco: I'm out.

Update II: Coincidentally, Tim Blair has a post today that mentions Nigerian spammers, and one of his commenters helpfully links to the 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference.

No comments: