Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Stabby is as stabby does

In the proud tradition of Tonya Harding and the Texas cheerleader murder-for-hire lady:

A disguised University of Northern Colorado reserve punter on the football team stabbed the team's first string punter in the thigh of his punting leg, officials say.

Mitch Cozad, a sophomore punter, has been suspended from UNC and arrested for investigation of second degree assault in the stabbing of Rafael Mendoza, said Evans Police Lt. Gary Kessler . . . .

Cozad allegedly ran up behind Mendoza in the parking lot of the Crescent Cove Apartments in Evans at 9:30 p.m. on Monday and stabbed Mendoza in the right thigh, Kessler said.

Witnesses saw the suspect, wearing a black hooded sweat shirt, jump into a black Dodge Charger and speed away, he said.

Also in the tradition of Harding and the Cheerleader Murder Lady, Cozad is dumber than Cheez Whiz™:

Shortly after the stabbing, a black Charger pulled into the parking lot of a liquor store in Evans.

The clerk watched as the driver wearing a black hooded jacket, get out of the car and pull tape off of his license plates, Kessler said.

"That's what struck the clerk as quite odd," he said.

The clerk called police and gave them the license plate number of the suspicious vehicle, which turned out to be Cozad's.

Insert "D'oh!" here. Lt. Kessler gets the last line: "I think [stabbing your rival in the leg] would strike anybody as a weird way to get ahead."

(from the Post)

Update: Mennndozzaaa!

Update II: Cozad must really be a lousy punter, because "Mendoza has averaged 37.6 yards-per-punt on nine punts in the two games so far this season," according to the News. If I were Cozad's lawyer I'd stress that in mitigation: He really sucks, your Honor.

No comments: