Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The Drunkablog brand--your guarantee of quality

I’ve known what the name of this blog would be for a long time. “Drunkablog” is a slight riff on the old Alcoholics Anonymous term “drunkalog,” meaning the stories AAers tell about the troubles their drinking brought—“Once I lit a cigarette after pounding a pint of Mr. B and woke up in the hospital with second-degree burns of the tongue"; "when I was 37 I drove my Vistacruiser through the front doors of a Pottery Barn and decapitated two lawn jockeys”—that sort of thing.

This is not to make fun of AA, much, and actually I’m an occasional attendee at meetings myself. Yep, I'm a drunk. No longer active, but if it came to it I could tell some pretty rancid stories. I was a bad ‘un. Before I quit drinking, in fact, I always scored 9 or 10 out of 10 on those “Are YOU an alcoholic?” tests Dear Abby used to run. I was rather proud of this, but then I usually “test well,” so I never got a swelled head or anything (except from the drinking).

But this blog isn’t going to be about drunk driving, job loss, wife beating, cirrhosis of the liver, dying in a ditch--none of that stuff. Drunkablog is just a great name. I think.

Imagine my disappointment, then, when I finally went to register at blogspot and found the name was taken. Then I looked at the blog. Oh, my. Just what this blog is not going to be. But doesn't it make you want to know what happened to the guy? Is he even still living? Just that single desperate cry, then silence. Scary.

So the upshot is I stole the Drunkablog name from a soul-crushed, down-and-almost-out alky by putting a “The” in front of it. Yeah, I know: Nice guy.

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