Eggs, milk, bread, potassium iodide . . .

The Gamera (hey, that moldy old joke finally makes sense, sort of):

The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment announced Wednesday that it has detected minuscule amounts of radiation in Colorado from the earthquake- and tsunami-ravaged Fukushima nuclear power plant in Japan.

The initial sample, which detected radioactive isotope iodine-131, is being sent to the Environmental Protection Agency for further testing.

Michelle Law, a radiation safety officer for the Department of Health and Environmental Safety at the University of Colorado, said Colorado residents have no reason to be concerned.

Because most of us are already horribly deformed from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters. No really, we don't have to be afraid, according to this dweebeen, because

"It's a teeny, tiny amount of radiation," she said.

Can the jargon, egghead. Just tell us if we should start right now with the raping and the looting and the pillllllllll-aging (glavin!) until the living envy the dead or wait till tomorrow morning when we can see what we're doing. Oh, and:

Thinking of running out to buy potassium iodide to protect yourself from that radiation?

"Don't," Law said. "There's actually more risk for taking it."

Dr. Chris Urbina, chief medical officer and executive director of the state health department, said in a statement Wednesday that the side effects of taking potassium iodide far outweigh the benefits. It can cause vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, rashes, allergic reactions, soreness of teeth and gums, and inflammation of the salivary glands, he said.

Kinda sounds like radiation poisoning.

Update: Glavin. That's so 2002.

Update II: And saying something is "so (insert year)" is so--well, I don't know what year, but it's old and should be avoided by careful users of the really bad meth that's been floating around town.