Well, "broke into" is an exaggeration, since every door was unlocked, as always. Unusually, though, I hadn't left the keys in the damn thing.
But besides the load of gold from my latest Brinks heist, you know what they got?
My fancy six-dollar tire gauge. And maybe the fat-body pen I like to sign checks with. (Sorry, I mean "pen with which I like to sign checks.") But I'll probably find that under the passenger seat sometime, stuck to the carpet made sticky a couple of years ago when Josie and Miss Peabody managed to open a can of OJ I'd just bought that, naturally, dumped under the seat where they couldn't get to it. Nobody profited, classic zero-sum. But it almost doesn't stink anymore.
Kids! Stay in school! And you won't have to drive a car like mine! Except under Obama! Then you'll be forced to! (See how topical I am?)
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