Monday, December 17, 2007

Book Review

No, not American Indian Mafia ("Riveting"--Laurie), but The Psychic Bible: The Definitive Guide to Developing Your Psychic Skills.

In chapters like "Exploring the Mind," "Energy Healing," "Channeling and Spirit Guides," and "Psychic Pets," author Jane Struthers takes readers on a spiritual "trip" through the world of mentally deficient lunatics who believe utterly bogus shit. (Full disclosure: since my psychic skills are already well-developed, I just had my spirit guide read me the good parts.)

After an instructive "how psychic are you" checklist--"Do you sometimes know who's on the other end of the phone before you pick it up?" (yes!) "Do the palms of your hands tingle when you're with people who are ill?" (yes!) "Do people tell you you're too sensitive and easily hurt?" (I could kill you for asking me that!)--Struthers gives us sections on dreams, chakras, auras (and their care), Edgar Cayce ("Cayce's story is so extraordinary that his detractors believe his healing work must have involved trickery, suggestibility, a desire for financial gain and every other racket they can imagine"), psychic surgery (natch), dowsing and, of course, channeling:
Many people channel information without realizing it. Writers sometimes talk about the inspiration for a book coming out of nowhere, and that they feel the words were being dictated to them by a higher source. If you have ever surprised yourself by saying something immensely profound without any conscious effort, thought or knowledge, you may have been channeling that information.

Incredibly, that just happened to me today. The section on angels is good, too:

There are many documented cases of angelic intervention, usually in dramatic circumstances. For example, you might trip over in the middle of a busy road and be helped to your feet--just before a bus bears down on you--by a man who seems to have appeared out of nowhere. The man gently steers you to safety and you thank him, but then when you look around for him, he has vanished.

Struthers could be describing an incident that happened to me years ago. Well, almost: the man from nowhere steered me in front of the bus, it wasn't a man but rather the darling Drunkawife, and there was nothing gentle about it. She did, however, vanish--with my wallet.

The chapter on psychic pets drew me with an almost (you "guessed" it!) psychic power. Starting with the fundamentals ("Are pets psychic?"), readers are taken step-by-step through the process of communicating mentally with their companion animals. The section titled "Making contact with your pet" alone is worth the price of the book (update: no it's not: $14.95 for an itty-bitty paperback). Struthers' abundant common sense shows well here:

Don't get caught up in thoughts about how impossible it is that your pet can talk to you; simply trust that it is so. You should also avoid blanking out messages that you don't want to hear because they make you uncomfortable or guilty. For instance, you might become defensive if your rabbit tells you that he doesn't like it when your toddler pulls his tail; or annoyed when your guinea pig announces that she hates her water bottle. However, these are important messages and, if you take note of them, you will start to improve the quality of your pet's life.

Fucking guinea pigs, always with the mouth. The section on "Striking up a conversation" is priceless, as well:

1. Start by considering what it must be like to be your pet. . . . Imagine yourself standing on all fours, if that's how your pet stands (if he's a snake, imagine what that must be like). . . .

5. If he's having behavioral problems, ask him what's wrong, but don't do this in a judgemental way. Listen to his answer. Discuss the situation with him and work out together how you can improve it.

The Psychic Bible belongs on the mental bookshelf of every thinking person and pet.

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