All better now

The News:

The University of Colorado will pay Lisa Simpson $2.5 million to settle her lawsuit against the school.

Simpson sued the school after a December 2001 off-campus party attended by CU football players and recruits, where Simpson and another woman said they were sexually assaulted.

"This topic has dominated the university's discussions and topics for the last several years," CU President Hank Brown said at a news conference today.

Well, it's one of the topics, anyway.

"In the last two and a half years, we've had dramatic changes at the university. We are a different institution today than we were three years ago or six years ago."

Sheeeeit. Here's the heartwarming part:

The school also will add a Title IX adviser and a half-time position in the Office of Victim Assistance as part of the settlement, university spokesman Ken McConnellogue said.

"Even more important than the dollar amount of the settlement is the agreement by CU to enact historic changes agreed to as part of the resolution of this case," said Simpson's attorney, Baine Kerr.

He said CU's agreement to establish a Title IX adviser is unique and precedent-setting.

"No other university has ever done anything remotely like this," he said. "This is quite historic."

Quite.