Remain calm: Colorado legislative session begins tomorrow

Here's the Post's roundup of legislative issues, as if anyone cares. In fact, every year when I read these pre-session stories about the dire problems the legislature must address or there'll be rioting in the streets I think:

Free breakfast!

Most mornings during the 120-day session, various lobbying groups would have areas set up in the capitol basement where they served everything from shirred eggs, belgian waffles and fresh-squeezed orange juice to your cruddy box of stale donuts. At least, that's how it worked when I was there. The grub was mainly for the legislators, of course, but all the legislative staffs (whose offices were in the basement) managed to weasel in on it too. Pretty nice little perk for the ill-paid and often-yelled-at peons who researched and put together the bills (except when the lobbyists did it) that the reps and senators argle-bargled over. Wasn't quite enough to keep me there though, restless entrepreneur that I was.

Another brush with greatness

The Drunkawife would kill me if I didn't mention this. Every year the governor, whoever it is, has a Christmas party for legislators and staff at the governor's mansion. It's a fairly ritzy deal, or at least it was to me. Anyway, long before the D-a-W and I "got together" we were sort-of friends, and I asked her to go to this party with me.

We got there and immediately set to exploring the place. It was beautiful, of course, and we looked in all the nooks and crannies we could. Finally, off in a corner away from the crowd, we found this, like, tub of brie, with all the accoutrements. Being used to more mundane cheese food products, we clapped like slow children and began stuffing our faces. The sight of each other, cheeks bulging with brie and cracker(s), was funny, so we were laughing while stuffing.

Suddenly this little man pops around the corner and steams toward us, hand outstretched. It was Governor Roy Romer. Dialogue, please:

RR (shaking my hand): How ya doin', how ya doin'?

Me: Fi, tha oo. How ah oo?

RR: Great, great. Having a good time?

Me: Ehuf--

RR: Great, great. Who do you work for?

Me: Ah wor i' tha aseme.

RR: Pardon me?

Me: Ah wor i' the (swallow) basemeh.

RR: You work in the basement? Great, great.

And he was gone.

I work in the basement. Smooth.