Forget about sweating through endless crunches in what - face it - is probably a hopeless quest for rock-hard and rippled "six-pack" abdominals reserved for bodybuilders and the genetically gifted [and the Drunkablog--ed.].
Throw in the towel and whip out the wallet.
A Denver plastic surgeon, Dr. John Millard, is pioneering a technique for those willing to pay for perfection: muscle-bound torsos sculpted from the patient's own fat.
"This is art [so, allegedly, is this--ed.]," Millard said during a recent surgery. "If he could have done this, Michelangelo would have been a surgeon."
Millard in late 2005 learned the procedure from a Colombian artist-turned-surgeon, Dr. Alfredo Hoyos, and has performed 19 of the "high-definition liposelection" surgeries. The surgeons claim to be the first in the world to take America's most popular cosmetic surgical procedure - liposuction - from slimming technique to extreme muscle sculpture.
Patients opting for the $8,000 to $15,000 operation typically are within 10 to 15 pounds of their ideal body weight but frustrated by aging bodies that no longer respond as quickly or dramatically to exercise, he said.
Fun quote: "'It's unbelievable,' [O'Brien] said. 'I feel like I'm looking at one of those gladiator costumes, with those plastic chest plates, or a Batman costume.'"
(Credits: Post gutshot by Andy Cross; burning baby from the Center for Transgressive Art.)
Update: "Columbian artist-turned-surgeon?" Now that's transgressive.
Update II: Notice there's no "after" picture of O'Brien?