The other day I asked a buddy if he was going to see Brokeback Mountain. He said he thought he'd wait until it came out on DVD. "You know my breathing problems [he has allergies and asthma and maybe a deviated septum or something]. It wouldn't sound too good if when the guys are going at it the whole audience can hear me breathing--huuuuuunh, huuuuuuk, huuuuuunh."
I don't think he's a homophobe, or even worried that people will think he's gay. It's just that one time we went to see Last House on the Left, a movie which may still hold the record for sick, creepy violence, and during all the grisly scenes you could hear him over the audience's horrified silence--huuuuuuunh, huuuuuuk, huuuuunh. People were turning around to look at him. Huuuuuunh. Huuuuuuuk. Huuuuuuunh. He sounded like an axe murderer.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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