Thar she blows: Ward Churchill surfaces at Try-Works

Just to take some ill-written, unfunny (though he keeps laughing, ho-ho) and crude potshots at Pirate Ballerina's Jim Paine. And amazingly, for once he comes out from behind his evil-idiot alter ego "Charley Arthur" to do so.

The circumstances are trivial: In mocking a piece Churchill published in the joke po-mo journal Social Text (remember the Sokal hoax?), Paine mentioned that Churchill claimed the president of Hamilton College had stopped his honorarium check for the talk that was canceled when the "little Eichmanns" brouhaha broke. Without contradicting Paine, Churchill now claims that his lawyers eventually forced the college to pay.

Big deal. What's striking is the unimaginative nastiness of Churchill's reply:

What’s really funny—at least in my admittedly twisted estimation—is Paine’s open endorsement of what, under Colorado law, adds up to a criminal act on the part of Hamilton’s “liberal” president, Joan Hinde Stewart.

Ho-ho. Talk about a fella stomping on his own dick. So much for your effort to pose as a “law and order conservative,” eh, Bubba? [Churchill calls Paine "Bubba"--that's funny]. At this point, you’re coming off a lot more like some sort of weird cross between Charlie Keating and Glenn Spagnolo [sic] in drag (i.e., Spagnolo stripped of both his moxie and his balls).

Chutch can't even spell his best bud's name, however much he idealizes his balls. Must be formite poisoning.

Ye gads, man, have you no shame?

It gets better. Since Ms. Stewart’s check-stopping gambit was flagrantly illegal, she—or, rather, Hamilton College—did end up paying me the full and duly-contract [sic] amount. . . .

That was in the fall of 2005, Bubba [can't get over how funny that is, Churchill calling Paine "Bubba"], about six months after the low-rent maneuver rousing all those warm and tingly sensations in your grubby little loins. So stop yankin’ on that pitifully undernourished nub you call a “luv muscle” and listen up. Your miniature woody’s already wilted, and I promise that the tale I’m about to tell will not be told in a manner too turgid [sic] for your notoriously tasteless sensibilities.

He goes on and on like that. I'm just surprised he didn't say Paine should be fucked with a wood rasp. A gentleman and a scholar is our Wart.

Update: Must be fun for Ward to have to spend so much of his dwindling time screwing around with lawyers. Ho-ho.

Update II: Jim Paine is very upset.

Update III: Speaking of fake Indians . . .

(via commenter Clayton Bigsby over at PB)