Jew in the room

Got this e-mail last week, no idea why (I claim):

Subject: David Irving speaking in Denver September 2

Dear John

we really do need the full address details requested on [web address]; this is as much for our security as for yours.

David Irving
(now on the road in the USA)

Turns out the world's foremost Holocaust denier has been touring the country, selling his books and DVDs out of the trunk of a rental car and giving private talks to select audiences. Though I was a little leery of sending my full address, in the interests of journalism or something I did, and asked for a ticket to the talk. That got this response from Irving:

Did you live in Scottsdale ten years ago?

Unsadly, no. But, notwithstanding my non-Scottsdalianism, he followed up with this:

Okay here you go:

INVITATION TO HEAR DAVID IRVING TALK PRIVATELY IN DENVER, COLORADO.

I am speaking to a private meeting in a restaurant in Aurora, southern Denver, after dinner on Tuesday September 2. I am driving over to Denver and back (to speak to the university)--

The university? Couldn't find anything on the interyebs, though he did speak at CU in 2004.

--also as part of my remaining all-USA [rah!] tour--my first visit since 2005 and quite possibly my last, as it took over a year for your Government to give me, a British writer, the (for me, now obligatory) US visa, and the visa given me turns out to be valid for "one visit only".

Fascists! Er, sorry: Communists! Me, a British writer, is 70, or nearly, and seems to be hinting with that "quite possibly my last" that he could be taken up to Valhalla at any moment, or at least before he gets another visa.

Sorry about the short notice, but security makes it inevitable. You should come at 6:30 pm or after; phone me any time after 6 pm for the precise location--sorry about the vagueness, but you will appreciate that we want an undisturbed evening.

Oh, I appreciate it, big boy. Say, is this a Nuremberg Rally or is that a hakenkreuze in your pocket?

You can phone any inquiries to me that afternoon on 555-555-5555 (D-blog readers: not a real number). Please keep this confidential.

No doubt.

To recap: You probably know that in 2005, a few weeks after I last spoke [sic], eight Austrian police arrested me at gunpoint on a warrant issued 16 years earlier for a 1989 lecture in Vienna on World War II. I was held 400 days in solitary confinement. The court of appeal ordered my release in December 2006. Of course, Ernst Z. is suffering even more than I did. Some folks just don't like Real History.

©.

I am now a free man again. I'll be speaking in private this time about my latest researches in secret files and what I have found in them about Hitler, Himmler, and the real truth about the Holocaust, and throwing the discussion open after that. And of course I'll be telling my friends, among whom I include you [aw, shucks], a bit about that imprisonment too: why 'Old Europe' still finds it needs to lock up - together with rapists, drug dealers, white slavers [no worries for you there, David] murderers - those historians, even best-sellers like me [long, long ago, David], who find and publish WW2 history that veers away from what governments like people to believe.

Oh, goody. Monday night, this came:

Thank you for registering for my Denver talk on Tuesday evening, September 2: I am speaking at the Embassy Suites Denver - Aurora, which is located at 4444 North Havana Street. . . . Proceed direct to function room A. The hotel is part of the Hilton group and has once again, as at Kansas City today, kindly agreed to inform callers that no Irving function is taking place! . . .

Well, that was mighty thoughty of the Embassy Suites Denver - Aurora, located at 4444 North Havana, and the Hilton group, wasn't it?

You should aim to be there at 7 pm, but please not before. I look forward to seeing you there for free refreshments at the Manager's Reception -- and then my talk.

The Manager's Reception?

I am now well into a three-month visit to over sixty cities. Not bad for an 'international outlaw'. We ask for twenty dollars at the door to cover our costs - I'm driving the whole 30,000 mile route! You'll have to pay for the buffet, but if you come we'll have a free DVD of my book Hitler's War for you if you'd like it; and it's way cheaper, and more certain, around $16, if you register online.

Which I did.

So there I was at 7 p.m., appropriately dressed as always. Entering the hotel, I looked for the oddly Germanic-sounding "Function Room A." And couldn't find it. Oh, I found the joint's conference rooms all right, but they were empty and locked. So I asked at the desk, even though I knew what they'd tell me.

And that's what they told me: we don't know nothin'. I thought of asking if they'd mind interrupting the manager at the Manager's Reception so he could check, but didn't.

One last shot. Back in the car, I called the number Irving had included in his e-mail. A man with a British accent answered. Unquestionably, ol' Dave:

Irving: Yellow? (okay, he didn't really say it like that; just my innate sense of drama).

Me: Hi, I'm trying to find where David Irving is giving his talk tonight?

Irving: Who's calling, please (so polite, those Brits)?

Me: John Martin . . .

Irving: Well, John, I'm afraid the meeting tonight is off, for you.

Me: But, but--

Irving: You'll be getting a refund. (Click.)

Actually, since he was on a cell phone, there was no click. Innate sense of drama again. At least after he hung up I didn't yell into the phone, "Hello? Hello?!" like they always do in the movies.

You know what happened. Some time between Monday night and Tuesday evening, Irving googled me and found one or more posts in which I call him a "drink-fuddled Holocaust denier," comment on his philosophical similarities to Ward Churchill, and/or include the picture linked above and now reproduced below:

Oh well. A real journalist would have done better, but no big deal except that I drove out to Saudi Aurora for nothing. And even that wasn't a complete waste because I brought the dogs; they just love going by the Purina Dog Chow plant on I-70.

Anyway, I found all I needed to know about Irving's current presentation from our good friends at Stormfront:

Last night's event was great! I was pleasantly surprised at the turnout. Every seat was filled. I didn't do a head count, but the guys from the Nationalist Coalition were helping out, so I would assume they know how many showed up. . . . Mr. Irving told the story of his arrest and imprisonment in Austria. I came away with rekindled feelings of outrage and gratitude. Outrage at the power of international Jewry to have this harmless old man thrown into prison for a year. . . .

Und:

Irving's audience seemed to have fallen completely in love with him, because of his honesty I suspect. Irving generously answered the questions of the audience at the end of his lecture. I felt that hearing such a trustworthy genius speak was an honor and priviledge worth many times the price of the ticket. I did not want to miss one word. By the end of his talk, everyone seemed thrilled. Many bought books and tapes.

David Irving is an international treasure, so I hope that he takes better care of his health. A seventy year old who spends so much of his life on the road, cooped up in an automobile and eating restaurant food, might not live to be seventy three. He spends much of his time on a cellular telephone, so let's pray he does not end up like Senator Edward Kennedy.

Yes, let's. Und:

It was great!!! It was definitely worth the trip. Did you notice there was a jew in the room? I'm sure David noticed too.

I'm sure he did, too. There was a Jew in the room at another of Irving's soirees, as well: Max Blumenthal of the Southern Poverty Law Center, who attended one of Irving's talks in July and interviewed him and some of his fans:

Update: The trustworthy genius refunded my $16 the next day.

Update II: Title changed because this one's better.