Monday, December 19, 2011

North Koreans 'chocking with grief' at death of Kim Jong-Il

So what killed the murderous little bastard? According to the (North) Korean Central News Agency, it was
an advanced acute myocardial infarction, complicated with a serious heart shock, on train on December 17, Juche 100 (2011) for a great mental and physical strain caused by his uninterrupted field guidance tour for the building of a thriving nation.

Every possible first-aid measure was taken immediately but he passed away at 08:30 on December 17.
Rats. Here's video of the North Korean people "choking with grief," as KCNA put it. One must (to coin a phrase) have a heart of stone to watch this without laughing.

Update: I want a multiplexer appreciation room! With modern stereo sound facilities!

Update II: "National Funeral Committee Formed"
Pyongyang, December 19 (KCNA) -- National funeral committee will be made up of following persons:

Kim Jong Un, Kim Yong Nam, Choe Yong Rim, Ri Yong Ho, Kim Yong Chun, Jon Pyong Ho, Kim Kuk Thae, Kim Ki Nam, Choe Thae Bok, Yang Hyong Sop, Kang Sok Ju, Pyon Yong Rip, Ri Yong Mu, Kim Kyong Hui, Kim Yang Gon, Kim Yong Il, Pak To Chun, Choe Ryong Hae, Jang Song Thaek, Ju Kyu Chang, Kim Rak Hui, Thae Jong Su, Kim Phyong Hae, Kim Jong Gak, U Tong Chuk, Kim Chang Sop, Mun Kyong Dok, Ri Thae Nam, O Kuk Ryol, Kim Chol Man, Ri Ul Sol, Jon Ha Chol, Kang Nung Su, Ro Tu Chol, Jo Pyong Ju, Han Kwang Bok, Paek Se Bong, Ri Yong Su, Choe Hui Jong, O Il Jong, Kim Jong Im, Chae Hui Jong, Kim Ki Ryong, Jang Pyong Gyu, Kim Pyong Ryul, Hong In Bom, Ri Man Gon, Ju Yong Sik, Kwak Pom Gi, O Su Yong, Ro Pae Gwon, Pak Thae Dok, Kim Hi Thaek, Kang Yang Mo, Rim Kyong Man, Kim Kyong Ok, Kim Myong Guk, Kim Won Hong, Hyon Chol Hae, Han Tong Gun, Jo Kyong Chol, Pak Jae Gyong, Pyon In Son, Yun Jong Rin, Jong Myong Do, Ri Pyong Chol, Choe Sang Ryo, Kim Yong Chol, Kang Phyo Yong, Kim Hyong Ryong, Ri Yong Hwan, Kim Chun Sam, Choe Kyong Song, Ri Myong Su, Jon Hui Jong, Ri Yong Gil, Hyon Yong Chol, Choe Pu Il, Yang Tong Hun, Ri Pong Juk, Kim Song Chol, Pak Kwang Chol, Ri Pyong Sam, Jon Chang Bok, O Kum Chol, Kim In Sik, Kim Song Dok, Ryo Chun Sok, Pak Sung Won, Ri Yong Chol, Pak Ui Chun, Kim Hyong Sik, Kim Thae Bong, Jon Kil Su, Ri Mu Yong, An Jong Su, Ri Ryong Nam, Ryu Yong Sop, Pak Myong Chol, Kim Yong Jin, Jang Chol, Song Ja Rip, Kim Jong Suk, Kang Tong
End communique.

Update III: Kim Jong-Il's successor Kim ("Sonny Boy") Jong-Un:

Unlike Daddy, he has kissable lips.

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