Monday, July 31, 2006

Recent potos

Sorry, photos.


A weird bee I made weirder by futzing around with the pic. Weird! (taken along the Lion Gulch trail near Lyons, CO)



Homage to TMangan. (ditto)



A dragon boat race this weekend at Sloan's Lake.

Update: Every time I see the exclamation "Ni!" (even when it's preceded by "Ichi!") I know it's time to link to . . .

Pronunciation

Question from the D-a-W: Is it HEZ-bo-llah, Hez-BO-llah, or Hez-bo-LLAH?

Update: Of course, in the BBC's pronunciation it's "Hez-bo-LLAH LLAH LLAH I can't hear you!"

Saturday, July 29, 2006

TFC

Dean Saitta of "Teachers for a Democratic Society" (blech) (TDS) defends the organization's petition for the "unfiring" of Ward Churchill in the thread to this PB post. Good stuff. Not his stuff, his interlocuters' . Yours truly weighs in with absolutely unanswerable arguments (Update: okay, okay, unanswerable invective.)

Spoiler alert! Dean Saitta is a 60s-obsessed moonbat. But you already knew that.

Update: What the hell is that thing wearing a mortarboard at the top of TDS's main page? A festering cantaloupe? Where do I sign, Dean Saitta?

A fine Compliment

At the gym where the Drunkablog pretends to work out an attractive lass commented admiringly yesterday that the D-blog has "the shoulders of Adonis."

Update: The attractive lass now tells the Drunkablog she said "the shoulders of a Don Knotts." We, like Dan Rather, stand by our story.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Interesting fact or figure

Here's a world restroom guide for the fussy-bladdered. It's nonsense (he said pissily). Toilets . . . Restrooms . . . Dignity®

Tourists

For some reason Colorado's always been popular with serial killers. I suppose like many they enjoy the fresh air and outdoor lifestyle.

Well, here's another one. Meet the obligatorily thrice-named Robert Charles Browne:
Investigators have communicated with [Browne] since [2002] in letters and personal interviews. In that time, Browne has provided details on numerous other murders [48, to be exact] throughout the U.S., including nine in Colorado, the sheriff's office said.
Browne has been in prison since 1995 for the killing of a 13-year-old Black Forest, Colorado, girl, and apparently spontaneously decided to confess all his murders. Of course, like Ottis Toole (note weird first-name spelling--shades of "Alferd" Packer), Browne might be confessing to anything and everything just for the attention.

Update: Denver Post: "Serial killer's safety a concern." That's the first thing the Drunkablog worried about too!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

NorthDenverTribuneWatch!

I'm sick of watching the North Denver Tribune. It's been amazingly boring lately, and this week it doesn't even have the often-sublime Crime Beat. Page two is interesting, tho:


Not for the Lighthouse ginks' deconstruction of Harry Potter . . .


. . . But for the photo of Agnes Romero, who taught untold numbers of kids traditional Mexican music and dance.

Agnes has terminal cancer (hence the "celebration"), but I post her picture because it shows that the "music teacher" is a type that transcends race and culture. It's pretty funny, too.

Update: "Untold numbers" in this instance means, as (I just noticed) the original caption to Agnes's photo states, "hundreds."

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Bullet points for wedge heads

  • My senile little Ford Escort wagon averaged 42 miles a gallon over the 2000 or so miles from Denver to Illinois and back. When every car in the U.S. is that efficient we won't need to go to war for oooooiiiiiillllll anymore--we can do it just for fun like we used to.

  • In Nebraska a semi-truck with one of those two-foot-tall light-bulb crosses (Christian, I assume) on the grille got behind me. Seen those? I think they're a new(ish) trucker fashion. I've even seen a neon one. It was dark, but I wanted a picture of this one so I slowed down and aimed the camera backwards blindly. Didn't work at all, but apparently I slowed down too much and/or the trucker saw my flash, because suddenly he was RIGHT BEHIND ME and even when I sped up he wouldn't get off my tail. Didn't turn into Duel or anything, but he scared the crap outta me. Check it out:

    Nyar-nyar-nyar: That's the cross coming at you in the middle.

  • Didn't have time this trip, but one of these days I'm gonna visit Nicodemus, Kansas.

  • There's a stretch of Nebraska where you can get only one radio station. It broadcasts crop prices 24 hours a day. As John Ray might say, Fun!


    Fun!


    Fun, goddamnit

  • Didn't eat fast food even once this trip. Unfortunately to avoid doing so I exceeded the recommended yearly dose of tunafish by 16,000 percent for my weight. Look, ma! I'm a thermometer!

  • The only blog I've tried to keep an eye on while running around is Pirate Ballerina. As usual, he's been pointing out lots of idiocy of the Ward Churchill kind. Fun!

  • Ward himself has been quiet for a while.

  • Too quiet.


  • Update: Richard Matheson, who wrote the original short story Duel, also wrote, among other classics, The Incredible Shirking (sorry, gratuitous self-reference) Shrinking Man.

    Original jokes

    What do good ol' boys learn in advanced physics? Strang theory.

    Who's green and skates? Peggy Phlegming.

    I'm exhausted.

    Update: Reactions to the Drunkablog's jokes are pouring in from around the world. Here's one:

    "I like your'e joks. They are fonny. Myfreinds lafed to. pEggy Flemting is really old."--Sylvester, Mrs. Field's third-grade class, Rankley Elementary School, Dismal Seepage, Ohio.

    Saturday, July 22, 2006

    More excuses

    Ever sneezed with a mouthful of toothpaste? The tree mold count in Denver must be high, because I'm dying, and not from the minty freshness dribbling out of my nose.

    Billy Bob and I made it home safe, to a joyous reception from the D-a-W. I'm plumb wore out though, and we have visitors coming to stay for a few days, so posting will continue to be spotty, as if anyone could tell.

    Thursday, July 20, 2006

    Mmmm, communist corn

    A plaque adorning a wall of the rest stop in Iowa I visited last week. The rest stop is dedicated to Henry Wallace, 1948 presidential candidate (that was a wild one), Roosevelt's last veep, and Adair County, Iowa, native son:

    Wallace could sound rather Mao-like.



    So can Billy Bob. For the trip home he's promulgated the glorious "Three F's" campaign: Feed me, feed me, feed me.

    Update: Little known fact: America's second highest civilian honor after the Medal of Freedom is the Rest Stop of Gratitude.

    Big City

    We took Amtrak from Springfield up to Chicago the other day. Very pleasant ride, but Chicago was miserably hot, and on the street we scuttled frantically from shade to airconditioning like ants under a magnifying glass. It makes me tired thinking about it, so I'll just post some unoriginal (but you knew that) pictures.


    View from the Sears Tower. Whatever. Last time the D-a-W and I were here in the spring of 2002, the observation deck was closed. I forget why.



    It was a busy news day.




    Shapes.




    More shapes.



    That's a fountain. It's like twenty stories tall and water cascades down its sides. You can get your picture taken and have it flashed on the thing for a second. Very weird. Big Brother is watching, and it's Urkel.

    Wednesday, July 19, 2006

    Meanwhile!

    Boy, the blogeratin' ain't goin too well at all. Every day I'm busy, and even if I weren't, it's too freakin' hot. To blog. That's really hot. And the Drunkablog has a life besides blogging, you know. Some pictures instead:


    This is the licence on a vehicle owned by the peasant who farms the Drunkablog acres (and many others'). (Update: Jeff Gordon? Git them brats a yourn and git off'n my propity!)



    The peasant's house. Knowing what he does about farming, the Drunkablog felt competent to demand: Peasant! Why isn't this plow in use, you lazy . . . (sounds of whipping) Peasant: Please, sir! I won't do it no more! Ha ha! (I reply) Then you won't mind removing your underwear! Peasant: Please, sir, not my unde--

    Sorry. Here's a picture of a foodstuff:


    Yes, it's corn. Glorious corn. Bow down before it. Bow down if you want to live! The corn grows angry!

    Pretty good crop this year, he said like he knows what he's talking about, if the Japanese beetles leave anything:


    They eat and hump at the same time. Nature knows how things are supposed to be.


    Peasants treated kindly

    The Drunkablog's forebears were always improving the land for their sharecroppers. Today, the tradtion continues! Check out this recent improvement:


    What? It holds stuff.

    This last pic has nothing to do with anything.


    The Drunkablog's great-uncle Manley Mathers'
    tombstone in Mason City, Illinois.

    Manley was a Great White Hunter, and had a menagerie on his farm just outside town that had elephants and monkeys and a zebra or two, among other animals. In the late 40s or early 50s it caught fire, and all the animals died. By today's standards I'm sure Manley didn't treat the poor creatures very well. For many years the lion cage sat empty next to Route 29.

    Manley died in 1949. An inscription at the very bottom of the upright millstone reads, "Our Doc"--with the quotation marks, so probably no one ever called him that.

    Believe it or not, the menagerie fire was caught on film. I've made a couple of feeble attempts to get hold of it, but no luck yet.

    Thursday, July 13, 2006

    My way or the Io-Way

    A couple of pictures:




    Both taken in Nebraska, I think.

    Practically every commercial structure along the way has wireless internet now, including rest stops. Here's the stool I used to blog most of this post. It was provided by a generous state at the Henry Wallace rest stop in Adair County, Iowa:


    Comfy: It's just opposite both bathrooms, too.

    Tuesday, July 11, 2006

    Not Nebraska

    I took a bunch of pictures of eastern Colorado and western Nebraska today but brought the wrong damn USB cord, you lucky bastids. Till I get the right one tomorrow here's a pic that was already on the computer:

    A view of the town of Arcos de la Frontera in southern Spain.

    Kearney (pronounced "Carny"), Nebraska, where I am now, is not as nice (hey, I'm a travel writer!)

    Update: I didn't even notice at first that Jodie Foster starred in "Carny." Nobody's perfect.

    Getting away

    The Drunkablog heads east tomorrow. Destination: Tokyo--uh, central Illinois, home of Ward Churchill. He'll have a laptop (borrowed from the D-a-W) and will attempt to post along the road. On the way back he may even wander a little (and not just his mind!), check out some places, meet the people in the villages.

    It's almost exactly a thousand miles from Denver to Lincoln, Illinois, and the Drunkablog is a little scared because he will be driving his 1993 Ford Escort. Yes, this is actually one of the six semi-operational Escorts left from that model year:


    Don't touch it!

    But leave us not wax over-snooty. It's just that since his own Preliterate Era the D-blog has yearned tragically after the mighty (large) Vistacruiser:


    You can't tell from this picture, but the Vistacruiser was 86 feet long (2006 Drunkablog estimate). In 1969 a single poorly maintained Vistacruiser consumed more oil than the entire People's Republic of North Korea (1970 U.S. Department of Oil estimate).

    I've always wanted one.


    The Escort will do fine

    But the Escort will do fine, I keep telling myself. And there's one major technical improvement I've made (not to the car, of course) that'll make things go much better. When Billy Bob and I drove to northern California not quite two years ago (3000+ miles round trip) this was our sound system:


    The car's radio and tape player (and air conditioner) gave up the ghost years ago, and, unbelievably, the 1993 Escort didn't come with a CD player. Hence the triple-threat boombox and allied crap.

    But this year Billy Bob will actually be able to sit in the front passenger seat (when he's not driving), because this year we broke down and bought the not-new-to-anyone-except-us miracle music-playing device, the Opid:


    The Opid: It's in the center of the Frisbee, in case you didn't spot it right away.

    This is the four-gigabyte (well, 3.88) model. Besides all the music, I've put on scores of old radio shows, than which there is nothing better to listen to while driving.


    Hackneyed

    This is hackneyed (it's the Drunkablog, after all), but it kills me that on this tiny ultramodern hunk of metal I can listen to (just as a few examples) a live 1927 broadcast of Charles Lindbergh's triumphal procession up the Potomac to Washington, D.C., after his return from Paris; Pete Seeger singing a surprisingly bloodthirsty little ditty called 'Round and 'Round Hitler's Grave during one of the first coast-to-coast radio hookups in February, 1942; and, at the far end of the same war, Lord Haw-Haw's drunken last broadcast from Berlin as it fell to the Russians ("Hei Hiller," he slurs).

    Plus Jack Benny. And "Dragnet." And "Information Please." Living history, done live (well, not "Dragnet"), and for that perhaps more entertaining now than when first broadcast.


    Cut the maundering, freak

    There'll be a post from somewhere tomorrow, probably. Maybe after I get across the line into Kansas and "the fuzz" can't hassle me no more.

    (weirdly defensive Peoria Journal-Star article on Ward Churchill via PB)

    Update: Since I mentioned the trip here's Billy Bob chasing his Frisbee in northern California surf. He got absolutely crushed a couple times, which seemed to learn him:


    He'd always forgotten by the next day though, so I, at least, had lots of fun playing Frisbee with the idiot.

    Update: The picture of the front-passenger space full of stuff is a re-creation. I never thought to take a picture of the actual mess, but it was much worse what with the spilled coffee and dissolving dog biscuits, etc.

    Sunday, July 09, 2006

    Appointment

    Australia's intrepid debunker of politically correct "black armband" history (and historians), Keith Windschuttle, was named last month to the board of the taxpayer-funded and almost-as-biased-as-the-BBC Australian Broadcasting Company. The appointment provoked comical cries of anguish from the usual sort, to which Windschuttle gleefully links. Always entertaining to read what the Australian left is saying about their own personal Satan. They get so hysterical, and only because he calls them liars and makes it stick.

    Update: Intrepiddebunkerintrepidebunkerintrepiddebunker.

    Saturday, July 08, 2006

    Colorado chit chat

  • A week ago LGF linked to a story about an Egyptian couple who pled guilty to slavery charges in California. Coincidentally, Colorado's own slavery case was resolved just the day before, when a Saudi man was convicted of "kidnapping, extorting, and sexually abusing a 24-year-old woman who came from Saudi Arabia six years ago as a cook and nanny." His wife had already copped to lesser charges. Bizzare quote from the prosecutor about the sexual abuse:
    "He's thinking if he's going to get caught (for hiring an illegal immigrant), he might as well get his bang for the buck, Tomsic said."
    She's a freakin' idiot, but she won the case.

  • Over nine hundred pages of documents related to the Columbine massacre released last week. Amazingly or maybe not so, there's almost nothing new in all that mass about the evil (a word assiduously avoided in this RMN story) little f*cks. (Update: Just saw this story that Harris actually downloaded a bunch of crude hints of the pair's plan to his school computer files the day before the attack, but nobody noticed until afterwards.)

  • Both parties are making absolute asses of themselves trying to appear tougher-than-thou in the Colorado special legislative session on illegal immigration. Here's the Post and the News today. Can't get very interested, even though I dearly love the term "anchor baby," especially when it's used in a headline like "Fur flies over anchor babies" Poetry! (Update: the News link has expired and the story is in limbo. This happens all the time, and it's irritating as hell. No telling whether it'll ever show up again, at least in the same form.)

  • The AP story on the mess left by the Rainbows (15,000 of 'em) after their gathering last week near Steamboat Springs ran in both Denver papers:
    Aerial photographs show the campers carved 40-50 miles of trails in the woods [must've had a meth lab out there--ed.] and a nearby meadow, Forest Service spokeswoman Denise Ottaviano said.

    Rainbows profess peace, love and respect for the earth, but any gathering that size will have consequences, Ottaviano said.

    "There was just a shocking amount of trails through that area," she said. "Just simply by being there they had an impact on the land." Rainbows dug fire pits and latrines, and foot traffic between camps spread over four square miles trampled grass and left paths.
    Of course, the last two paragraphs take it all back:
    Several hundred Rainbows are expected to stay behind after today's official end to the gathering. Members say they will remain on the land into August, helping to clean up, reseed, remove footbridges and return the land to its natural state.

    Forest Service specialists, including experts in soil and water plan to supervise the restoration.
  • Here's one I missed back in May. Circulation for both Denver papers declined much more than the already horrible national average of 2.6 percent over the previous six months--down 4.7 percent for the Post and 4.3 for the Rocky. Scay-ree.

  • Check out this blog currently appearing on the lame YourHub.com "community" website started by the Rocky and sponsored by both papers, or something. "Timothy's blog" is about
    recent events I witness in my neighborhood (Downtown Aurora), my 11 year struggle with chronic pain (including 7 spinal surgeries and more to come), updates on my hunt for/and disruption of Internet child predators in Colorado, and much more.
    If that doesn't get you interested, Timothy's bio-line reads, "Timothy J. Miller is a Mortgage Professional, Marketing Guru, and 45-day coma survivor."

  • Finally (yay!), I can't stand people who go on about how much they love books and reading and libraries, but this woman's boasting is couched in the story of The Man Who Bulldozed Granby (and then killed himself), so it's worth checking out.


  • Update: Speaking of anchored babies, "makeshift armored bulldozer" is no slouch of a phrase either.

    Update II: Damn if LGF didn't post on the Colorado slavery case tonight (after I did, of course).

    Scientist proves 9/11 was inside job

    Wait, did I say "scientist?" I meant "crazy person." If it had appeared anywhere but Democratic Underground I'd have been sure this was a joke, but it didn't, so I'm almost sure it isn't. Serious or not, this post is the funniest thing I've seen in a hell of a long time.

    (via LGF, which renders my post utterly superfluous, but I am compelled to recognize genius)

    Thursday, July 06, 2006

    Churchill appeals firing "suggestion"

    Ward Churchill has appealed interim CU chancellor Phil DiStefano's recommendation that he be fired.

    In the response, according to the Denver Post, Churchill's attorney David Lane said,
    "Professor Churchill's grounds for this appeal include the fact that the committee's report and the recommendation of the interim chancellor were against the weight of the credible evidence presented and was in retaliation for his First Amendment protected free speech."
    A spokesperson for CU President Hank Brown told the Post that Churchill's appeal is "just a procedural aspect at this point since the report from privilege and tenure committee will be coming back to (Brown) for a decision . . . . It's not prudent to issue a comment at this point except to say that the process is in motion."

    Neither the Post nor the News provided the full text of the appeal (the News' piece). No mention either of Churchill's (alleged) response last month in which he accused the committee assigned to investigate his scholarship of some of the same offenses he was found to have committed.

    That "suggestion" in the title is the word the Post uses in its headline, by the way. Strong.

    (h/t: Snapple)

    Tuesday, July 04, 2006

    First Annual Memorial Fourth of July Ignoration

    We "camped" this weekend in the "wilds" of Dillon "Reservoir" (oops, one too many scare quotes there), which is considerably more refined and prosperous than our own neighborhood:


    Oh, we have a boat, do we? Well, bully for us. (The D-blogs, needless to say, do not have a boat. Leaky canoe, yes; boat, no.)



    The Hegemonator: The D-blog's father-in-law Wendell--Army Air, career Air Force, dedicated minion of the military-industrial-recreational-vehicle complex. Wendell has a cat named Chipper whom every evening he hand-feeds shrimp while he himself enjoys a single (eight-ounce) martini. The complacent fascist (Wendell, not Chipper) calls this "happy hour."

    Dillon Reservoir "not natural"

    Maybe not, but it has the best frisbee golf course in the state!


    Hippies tee off. See the daypack bottom center? They had about 12 different frisbees in there--putters, drivers--hell, for all I know mashies and wedgies too. Or are those the same thing? Shut up. Who cares? And who am I quoting with that "not natural" in the subhead? Nobody!


    Each fairway runs 325 to 375 yards and has a par of 3 or 4. Here's the 13th "hole" (with scare quotes you need to taper):


    The dirt is the "green" (tapering!)

    We were going to play, but there were too many people waiting in between rainshowers.



    It rained a lot, unfortunately, and was cloudy when it didn't.
    These are some Pine Beetle-murdered trees (clouds in back).

    We read in the tent while Billy made crop circles. He does this by yanking his frisbee around with his front paws:



    Aerial view. He makes them in snow, too.



    I didn't say they were good crop circles. He's a dog, for Chrissakes.

    We've never figured out why he does this, but it gets annoying:


    Dirt flies everywhere like you've set you're lawn chair up in a construction site. (Despite the axe, however, no animal that didn't deserve it was harmed during this camping trip.)

    Oh, and here's Billy Bob's high-school graduation picture:


    (I actually took it this weekend. Billy Bob never made it through junior high, let alone high school. He's real touchy about it too. I'd need a face transplant if he knew I told anyone. Noble hound my ass.)

    Unproductive fun was had by most.

    Update: The D-a-W says her "little Eichmann" of a daddy's daily martini contains more like 12 ounces of wodka. Probably this kind. Guess that's why he's such a happy hegemon.

    Update II: Only by blogging would the Drunkablog ever have learned that there exists such a thing as kosher vodka.

    Update III: Yes, a "crop circle" by definition should contain a "circle" in a "crop" (tapering!). That a Billy Bob "crop circle" contains neither, however, is really none of your business.

    Sunday, July 02, 2006

    Hippies declare war

    Not really, but the Rainbow Family is being unusually militant this year: "Hippie group founder urges suit vs. feds."

    In a totally American way.

    STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) -- A founding member of a hippie movement called the Rainbow Family suggested Saturday that it launch a federal lawsuit against a growing crackdown on their annual gatherings.

    Barry Adams, known in the Rainbow Family as Barry Plunker, told a council circle at the first day of this year's weeklong gathering at Routt National Forest that federal pressure has gone too far.

    Dozens of Forest Service officers, county deputies and Colorado State Patrol officers are manning checkpoints and patrolling camps as thousands of hippies flood the forest about 30 miles north of Steamboat Springs.

    Under federal rules, any gathering of more than 74 people in a national forest requires a permit. Officials have said that in a fire, the narrow dirt access road would become clogged and campers would be trapped.

    The clash between Rainbows and federal officers at national parks has become such an annual tradition that the Forest Service in 1998 established a national response team to deal with the group. Members defying federal orders typically are issued citations for camping illegally. . . .

    The Forest Service estimated that by Friday night about 6,000 tie-dyed hippies were camping in makeshift villages. That number swelled dramatically Saturday, the first official day of the gathering. . . .

    Rainbows formed drum circles, exchanged beads, batik and crystals, and lined up at communal kitchens for meals. Everything is free, from meals to yoga classes to massage. Hugs are doled out at every turn and members greet each other by saying, "Welcome home."

    Adams, 61, was drifting with a group of fellow hippies in the 1960s after his service during the Vietnam War when he decided to fulfill a vision of holding a giant gathering based on peace and love. Since the first Rainbow Family gathering in Colorado in 1972, he said, the federal government has denied permits and has done what it could to block the annual gathering. . . .

    Queeckies

  • Barry Plunker? Please let it be because he plays the banjo.

  • Did Barry ask David Lane about this? He's not mentioned in the story.

  • "Manning checkpoints and patrolling camps . . ." It's a hippie gulag!

  • Mmmmm, communal kitchens.

  • Didn't the feds have an Incident Management Team at Waco?

  • An old lesson: never, ever, piss off a hippie. They'll rip your nads off and play hackey-sack with 'em.

  • Local color: "6000 tie-dyed hippies."

  • Humorous elision: "6000 tie-dyed hippies . . . swelled dramatically Saturday . . ."
  • Happy Independence Day.

    Earlier Rainbow Gathering foolishness here, under "Happy news."

  • Saturday, July 01, 2006

    Sat Eve Post 7-1-67

    Haven't got time for the whole issue, so here's Richard Speck to tell you about eHarmony . . .


    He's insane--ly good-looking!



    . . . While the D-a-W (l.) and I (r., in Arnold Palmer™
    cardigan) relax in the mountains.

    Friday, June 30, 2006

    PSA

    We're going to the mountains, or at least to a crude representation thereof, later this weekend, so posting might be funky.

    Also, around the 10th I'll be headed to the Drunkablog family confab in Lincoln, Illinois. Here's what I wrote last year about my native land:

    You see, Drunkablog's ancestors throve and grew full-'tarded on this land, this "Central" Illinois, with it's babbling brooks and majestic cottonwoods and frolicking deer all long ago drained and cut down and shot so as to concentrate everybody's mind on what's really important: corn.

    So it's kind of like, I don't know, a homecoming. And if I don't chicken out from buying one I'll have a laptop and be able (maybe) to post along the road. It's been done to death, but when has that ever stopped &tc.

    By the way, can one park outside a wi-fied motel and connect to the internet? That would be very helpful. What about truck stops? Do they generally have wi-fi these days?

    Update: Don't forget to move Smiley -4 degrees!

    Forget James Dean

    Norm Geras links to yesterday's Guardian article on jazz trumpet genius Clifford Brown, who was killed in a car wreck 50 years ago at age 25. But here's a much better June 26 Wapo article that includes a retelling of The Mystery of Clifford's Last Jam.

    Update: One respects Miles, one loves Brownie.

    Update II: Both newspapers' headlines are sub-par, but the Post's is really bad: "Unmuted awe?" Beeeyarrrrf.

    Update III: Anybody (else) think I'm posting about Clifford just to salvage some cred after the previous post, which inexplicably mentions Hall and Oates?

    Thursday, June 29, 2006

    This post links to big hair

    The other day the D-a-W asked if I could translate a Spanish word for her. This was odd because I don't speak Spanish and she's fluent in it.

    Drunkablog: What's the word?

    D-a-W (pronouncing): Mahn-eh-ah-ter. You know, with an "er" verb ending.

    D: Mahnny ah tare.

    D-a-W: Mahn-EH-ah-tare, you blithering fagsicle.

    D (Woundedly but proudly, strongly but tenderly, gently but steelily (lilly?) and above all in a deep voice): You know, that was funny for a while, but ever since we went to PrideFest the "fagsicle" stuff's had a little edge to it. Are you once again questioning my manli--forget it. Okay. Mahn-eh-ah-tare. Where'd you see it?

    D-a-W: It's a Nelly Furtado song [she sings some of her stuff in Spanish--and in Portuguese and English and a little Hindi, apparently--ed.], but I couldn't figure out what the word meant for the longest time. Let's see if you know it. Write it down while I spell it.

    D: (saying the letters after her): M- A--oops, let me pick up my pen. Owwwwwww, my eye!--N - E - A--shut up, Billy Bob! Owwwwww, don't bite my wounded eye!--T - E - R. Got it! (looks again) (goes to sleep) (wakes up) (looks again) (gets something to eat) (looks again) (takes it to an expert):

    D: It's English!™ "Maneater!"

    And it was, though I'm glad to report that Furtado's Maneater is not a cover of the Hall and Oates version.

    Update: I thought about calling this post "Whoa whoa here she comes" but I Can't Go for That (No Can Do).

    Update II: Do not confuse the word "maneater" (or song(s) of the same name) with the word "manhunter" (or the excellent movie of the same name).

    Update III: Turn loose the lightning metal hawgs!

    Update IV: "By: Delmo."

    Wednesday, June 28, 2006

    Drunkablog gets dread "vote of confidence" from self

    I'm still quite confident that the statement posted on Try-Works yesterday and purported to be Ward Churchill's response to CU Interim Chancellor Phil DiStefano is authentic. But neither the Post nor the News has updated the story, and neither has said where they got the statement, which would seem to indicate that they got it from Try-Works and ran with it without further confirmation.

    Just like the Drunkablog did.

    Oh, and it's still not up on CU's website, though this might mean only that Churchill's decided not to communicate directly with the hegemonate anymore.


    Evidence? We don't need no stinkin' etc.

    But I'll give it a shot. 1. Churchill gave his June 13 statement to Try-Works first too. 2. That little touch of trying to turn the charges around on the committee is pure Churchill. 3. And what would be achieved by a fake statement anyway? If it ain't Churchill it might as well be.

    Update: Putting up rather than shutting up: If I'm wrong I'll eat my magic blogger's hat.

    Plastic fantastic hassles solved

    The Rainbow Family's problems, about which I blogged yesterday, are over. Their knight in shining armor has arrived. Turns out it's David Lane, lone champion of Ward Churchill and Defender of the Freaks!
    Rainbow Family members on trial for camping without a permit and other charges should be tried in a larger public courtroom – not a small, rural firehouse near Steamboat Springs, attorney David Lane said today.
    One thing, though: If, as the Rainbows say, nobody's in charge, who hired Lane? Yes, that's a rhetorical question. He was probably camped out with the Rainbows from the start, and now is acting completely pro boner (hippie chicks have a rep, maaannnnnn).

    No, it's the face time. As is obvious from the Drunkablog's coverage, the story's got eggs. I mean, legs.

    Update: Sorry about the double or triple screwed up postings. Bogger's been absolutely pathetic today. Yeah, that's the ticket.

    Tuesday, June 27, 2006

    Churchill responds to DiStefano*

    At Try-Works, so I'll just link to PB's post, where I saw it first. It's mostly the same old crap, but Churchill does have a few fresh feces to fling:

    From start to finish, the interim chancellor's blatant conflicts of interest – not to mention the political nature of his biases – have been obvious to anyone who cared to view the matter honestly. So, too, the ways in which he has manipulated the process at every step in order to guarantee the outcome he announced on Monday, June 26. . . .

    The interim vice chancellor's strikingly duplicitous comportment over the past 16 months will not go unchallenged. I will file an appeal of the whole charade with the Faculty Senate's Committee on Privilege and Tenure (P&T) within the next 10 days.

    He'd better make that nine days, hadn't he? Then Churchill goes after the Standing Committee on Research Misconduct in those Trotskyite tones we've all learned to love:

    In fact, each kind of academic misconduct the interim chancellor's carefully-selected panel claims I committed is engaged in by the panel itself in the writing of its report. (One of the panelists even takes credit for authoring a work unquestionably written by another scholar.)
    That's a new one. Isn't it? Anybody know who he might mean?

    Update: Once again Churchill uses Try-Works to get his message out. He's found his own level.

    Update II: The Post is first with an AP story that gives Chutch's response in full.

    Update III: And now the Rocky with an AP summary.

    Update IV: Just commented over at PB (same post) that one thing newspaper reports have consistently done in the Churchill story is use the unacceptable shorthand that Churchill compared 9/11 victims to "a Nazi." Then I looked at the lead of the AP summary again.

    *Well, PB has deleted Churchill's alleged statement, saying rightly (and with input from Snapple!) that its authenticity hasn't been confirmed, especially since Try-Works claims to have got it first but the Denver papers had it only an hour later. Neither Denver paper is questioning the document, though, and I'm leaving it up for now, but caveat lector.

    Colorado chit-chat!

    What is it with people getting shot in stores around here? First was the K-Mart shooting (they caught him); then Sunday a rampage at a Safeway warehouse (they killed him). LGF noticed that one for some reason. Oh, and today the gunman's brother was shot and wounded in an incident "not believed related" to the Safeway shootings.


    Happy news

    A relief, then, to be able to turn to a story about peace, love and har--now wait just a hemp-pickin' minute:

    Federal forest officials Tuesday clashed with members of the Rainbow Family north of Steamboat Springs, where the free-spirited tribe plans to hold its annual summer gathering of as many as 20,000 celebrants next month. . . .

    The conflict was sparked by the U.S. Forest Service's decision to start issuing citations to early-bird Rainbow campers entering the Hahns Peak-Bears Ears Ranger District - roughly 30 miles north-northeast of Steamboat Springs - without a special-use permit.

    Denise Ottaviano, an information officer for the National Incident Management Team [what do you want to be when you grow up, Denise dear?--ed.], said about 15 U.S. Forest Service law enforcement officers were forced to abandon a safety-and-information checkpoint after being encircled in a hostile manner by more than 200 Rainbows.

    Ottaviano said the permit is required for a gathering of more than 74 people [seventy-four?--ed.] on Forest Service land.

    About midday Tuesday, Ottaviano said, "a group of between 60 to 80 Rainbows started approaching the law enforcement officers from the interior of the gathering area in a very hostile manner.

    "They broke up into groups and started surrounding the law enforcement officers at the checkpoint, and that incited the group of about 200 that was outside of the gathering area to then also approach and join in with the group that was already there, and start surrounding the law enforcement officers."

    Ottaviano said that when the officers saw they were encircled, they drew their weapons ["they may get us, but we'll take a few hippies to hell with us!"] but did not fire [rats]. They were then able to get into their cars and leave.

    News of trouble in a planned paradise 10 days before the start of the Rainbows' mass summer reveries didn't sit well with Rob Savoye. He's a 47-year-old Rainbow Family member who lives near Nederland and helped locate this year's gathering site. He wasn't present at Tuesday's confrontation.

    The problem with securing the required permit for the use of the federal land, Savoye said, is "nobody is in charge (of the Rainbows), and so nobody can sign a permit.

    "We always say, anybody who looks like they're in charge, obviously isn't."

    That reasoning won't wash with the feds.

    They still don't have a permit. Whatever, but more people are showing up every day, there's only one road in to the meadow where they're gathering, and the place is a tinderbox. As a friend of mine once said, "God bless the gentle hippies."


    Cowtown no more, and I'll say it till it's true

    First came the news that KATIE COURIC was coming to Denver to conduct some sort of dipshit town meeting. As Penny Parker p-p-p related:
    Starting Monday you can visit cbs4denver.com for a chance to be chosen for the town hall talk with Couric on July 13 at the Denver Performing Arts Complex.

    One hundred local folks will be selected for the meet and greet with the new CBS Evening News anchor, based on answers to an online questionnaire. Denver is one of six towns across the country that Couric will visit before debuting on the anchor desk in September.

    "She wants to talk about issues and what people want to see in a network newscast," said CBS 4 news director Tim Wieland. "People sitting in the town hall will get to shape a network newscast. How often can you say that?"
    I don't know. But here's one for you, Tim: How many consecutive times can you heave up green bile and live? (Update: Cal Thomas giggles girlishly at the prospect of Katie's tour.)

    But the Rocky's Parker isn't through yet, in the same piece pitching the dishes about Avs goalie Jose Theodore's tryst with celebrity skank Paris Hilton.


    Last item!

    "Embezzlement suspect ordered to stay jobless." A perfectly sensible decision.

    Update: The Post's Ed Quillen tells the story of the first Rainbow Gathering in 1972.

    Update II: As some of you may know, the Drunkablog has his own Incident Management Team.


    Update III: I originally said Penny Parker works for the Post; the Rocky's Linda Seebach points out that I'm wrong and also an idiot. Fixed.

    Update IV: In the interest of journalistic accuracy, Seebach didn't actually say I was an idiot. But she thought it.

    Rob Smith, RIP

    Late to this, but Acidman died yesterday. No surprise, he was a physical (and sometimes mental) wreck, but still, it sucks. Gut Rumbles was one of the first blogs I ever read (I know, join the club), and the A-man's appalling honesty set a standard that will never be surpassed.

    Monday, June 26, 2006

    CU's DiStefano: We're going to fire Churchill

    That's what the Rocky is saying, with a little red "breaking news" banner on their front page that I've never seen them use before. Here's the caption to the Churchill photo accompanying the piece, which contains more info than the actual story: "The University of Colorado has started the process to terminate controversial professor Ward Churchill, Interim Chancellor Phil DiStefano said today at a 2 p.m. news conference. There are avenues of appeal open to Churchill, DiStefano said."

    Update: The Post has a little more:

    "Today I issued to Professor Churchill a notice of intent to dismiss him from his faculty position here at the University of Colorado," said Phil DiStefano at a press conference.

    Update 2 billion: Colorado Gov. Bill Owens, wishy-washy as ever on the subject:

    "'If a university is a marketplace of ideas, then Mr. Churchill is the rotten fruit among hundreds of good apples,' Owens said in a statement. 'Hopefully, we can soon say good riddance to Ward Churchill once and for all.'"

    Churchill has 10 days to appeal.

    "A university is a marketplace of ideas, a place where controversy is no stranger . . . indeed one of our most cherished principals is academic freedom, the right to pursue and disseminate knowledge without threat of sanction," said DiStefano. "But with freedom comes responsibility."

    Update II: KHOW has the audio of the news conference here.

    Update III: As Pirate Ballerina points out in highlighting this DiStefano quote, "the burlesque is far from over":

    [...L]et me briefly explain the process as we go forward. Professor Churchill may request within 10 days to have President Brown or me forward this recommendation to the Faculty Senate Committee on Privilege and Tenure. If Professor Churchill does so, a special panel will then conduct hearings about this matter and make a recommendation to the president about whether the grounds for dismissal are supported.

    Update IV: Churchill attorney David Lane on KHOW's Caplis and Silverman said all this faculty stuff is just "window dressing" and expressed the requisite lawyerly confidence that a Colorado jury will see through it.

    Update V: Egregiously-toothed CU lickspittle Dan Caplis: "CU handled it right."

    Update VI: C & S are interviewing DiStefano now.

    DiStefano: This isn't about freedom of speech, but about Churchill's falsification, plagiarism, baby raping, etc.

    Silverman: Lane claims Churchill didn't get sufficient notice.

    D: Yes he did.

    Caplis: Tell us the process from here.

    D: Blah, blah, blah.

    Caplis: Churchill doesn't have a case. All he can do is yell retaliation! Retaliation! Retaliation!

    Caplis again (to DiStefano): I once thought you were a beast, but now I love you and want to bear your children. It's a proud day for you and the faculty.

    D (shyly): Thanks, Dan.

    S: How long can he drag it out?

    D: Millenia (I didn't hear what he actually said. Sorry.).

    S: David Lane says the university owes him $20,000 . . .

    D: Legal is handling.

    D (asked whether Interim Provost Susan Avery and Arts and Sciences dean Todd Gleeson supported the decision): Yes.

    Interview over, kiss, kiss, kiss, a little tongue from Dan, then:

    C: He's (Churchill) gonna lose in so many ways . . .

    Update VII: PB points to Hot Air's un-pc reaction.

    Update VIII: The story's right, but Florida Cracker, a very fine blog, goes a little too far in the headline: "WARD CHURCHILL FIRED."

    Update IX: Huh. So does Occidentality (who has a good blog reax roundup): "University of Colorado Finally Resolves the Churchill Farce. Sorry, Occi, but there's still a whole bunch of clowns crammed in that little car.

    Update X: The Kos kids are resigned.

    Update XI: Wouldn't normally link but over at Try-Works Moredy is clenching his chubby little fists cutely and screaming at DiStefano: "You neo-Stalinist fuck" (link removed).

    Update XII: The papers pontificate: the Denver Post: "The long goodbye at CU"; the Rocky: "Just deserts for Churchill." Predictably, the Post doesn't mention the various embarrassing defugalties CU committed during the controversy, while the News, as might be expected, emphasizes them:

    If we appear somewhat stingy with compliments for the CU hierarchy, it's no accident. Todd Gleeson, dean of the College of Arts & Sciences, not only was showering Churchill with praise long after he might have worried that his ethnic studies professor was a scandal waiting to happen, but Gleeson also privately mocked a 2004 complaint from someone who heard Churchill give a speech at Macalester College in St. Paul and wondered if it was "the educational mission of your institution to employ someone who encourages students to terrorist action."

    After the furor broke over Churchill's "Little Eichmanns" essay - an essay, by the way, that justifies a "dose of medicine" against the U.S. in the form of chemical or biological weapons - Interim Chancellor Phil DiStefano released a tepid statement distancing the university from the renegade professor but revealing little sign of genuine outrage. CU's president at the time, Elizabeth Hoffman, eventually would wax indignant, but against Churchill's critics, claiming they were the vanguard of a "new McCarthyism."

    Update (I've lost count): The Rocky consulted six "legal experts," all but one of whom said Churchill is a dead duck:
    Attorneys who specialize in higher education law said CU can win a suit as long as the university followed due process in moving against Churchill.

    And, they say, a powerful report by a CU investigative committee, detailing the evidence of misconduct, will be tough for Churchill to overcome.

    "If they fire him, he'll stay fired," said Harvey Silverglate, a Massachusetts civil liberties attorney who specializes in representing faculty members in academic freedom cases.
    How. Ever.

    Michael Olivas of the University of Houston Law Center said Churchill has "a better-than-average chance" of showing that the investigation of his scholarship was launched in retaliation for his expression of unpopular opinions.

    "They wouldn't be caring about Ward Churchill if it hadn't been for his 'little Eichmanns' remark, which may be inelegant, but he's entitled to it," said Olivas, the author of a widely used book on higher education law.

    Update 2 billion: Colorado Gov. Bill Owens, reticent as ever on the controversy, backs the "it's just Churchill" line:
    "'If a university is a marketplace of ideas, then Mr. Churchill is the rotten fruit among hundreds of good apples,' Owens said in a statement. 'Hopefully, we can soon say good riddance to Ward Churchill once and for all.'"

    Sunday, June 25, 2006

    Drunkablog goes to PrideFest!

    I don't know. It has something to do with gay people.

    Walked by the Libeskind art museum expansion on the way.* It's set to open this fall. Trailer lower left is new main entrance.





    There was a pretty good crowd:


    This was the tail end of the parade, but it's the only real crowd shot I got. Most everybody was already at the rally.



    This unappointed but impeccably dressed arm of state power estimated the crowd at 10,000-15,000.



    Even Robin Williams showed up. (That's a joke, son.)




    These guys could ripple their chests in counterpoint. Ripples went through the crowd too: "They're porn stars!" The Drunkablog has absolutely no idea if this was the case.

    I didn't listen to any of the speakers, either. Can you ever forgive me?



    The City and County Building. There was all kinds of commerce, of course, including booze. Half the crowd was baked by 11:00.



    Did that make it easier to sell insurance, or is this guy baked, too?



    Left, main library; right, old part of art museum; bottom left, behind Coors truck, Civic Center.



    The pool at the other end of Civic Center Park.



    Statue above the guy in the leopard-skin print is Joe P. Martinez of Ault, Colorado, who won the Congressional Medal of Honor in WWII.




    The end.

    *I go by that musuem addition at least twice a week, and I've never seen Daniel Libeskind around. What's up with that?

    Update: The Drunkawife and I were supposed to meet up at this thing, I swear, but we missed each other and she ended up riding in the parade in the back of a pickup, "practicing her queen wave." How odd. She usually does that whilst sitting on the toilet.

    Update: Here's how the News covered it; here's the Post, which insanely claims a crowd of 200,000.

    Saturday, June 24, 2006

    They all have hairy backs, too

    A study has found that nearly every person working in newspaper sports departments is white. And male.
    "I expected it to be pretty bleak, and it certainly was," said Richard Lapchick, founder and director of the University of Central Florida's DeVos Sports Business Management's Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport.

    Lapchick's team of graduate students found in studying the 5,100-employee makeup of 303 sports departments that 94.7% of sports editors, 89.9% of columnists and 87.4% of reporters are white. The study also showed that 95% of the editors, 93% of the columnists and 90% of the reporters are male. Similar percentages were found in the positions of assistant sports editors and copy editors.
    They should get Larry Summers to explain it to them.

    (via Romenesko)

    Thursday, June 22, 2006

    Orality

    Many deep thinkers, including me (shut up), have argued that Ward Churchill's academic fraud is not an isolated incident, but rather a representative example of the ideologically corrupted scholarship done by ethnic-studies faculty in general and accepted all too blithely by the academic community as a whole.

    This can be found right in the Churchill committee's own investigative report (pdf), which employs extremely dubious historiography to criticize Churchill's now-famous claim that the U.S. Army gave smallpox-"infested" blankets to the Mandan Indians in 1837.

    In making this claim, the committee said, Churchill misrepresented Mandan oral tradition. They were right about that, of course. Unfortunately, their explanations of how they themselves came to accept (sort of) real Mandan traditions about the epidemic use exactly the kind of assumptions Churchill uses to stoke his Rousseauian fantasies. Here, for example, is the committee's take on "truth" in history (p. 46):

    The Committee recognizes the validity of many ways of knowing about the past. . . . Multiple perspectives, providing different vantage points about a given set of events, enhance our ability to understand the complexity of the past. Thus the oral traditon of a tribe involved in a previous event may force reconsideration of established acounts derived exclusively from written documentation. . . .The oral traditions of the Mandan, Arikara, Hidatsa, and Sioux peoples, those closest to the events at Fort Clark, likewise contain multiple and conflicting assessments. We believe that all kinds of sources have value; we privilege none.

    How did the committee's belief that they could avoid "privileging" one truth over another work out in practice? Here they are accepting (sort of) "an apparently Mandan perspective" on the smallpox epidemic found in a speech

    said to have been given by Chief Four Bears as he was dying of smallpox in 1837. The text of the speech was preserved together with [a racist jerk going under the name of] Chardon's journal and was later inserted into the appropriate chronological place by the editor of the published volume. Although the authenticity of the speech has been questioned, it seems possible that Four Bears did give such a speech (though perhaps not on the day of his death) and that Chardon was told about it by someone who spoke both Mandan and either French or English. While Four Bears' speech was certainly mediated--translated and transcribed by someone other than its nominal author--it may provide a generally accurate representation of his sentiments. A descendant of Four Bears recited his statement in full in a conversation around 2000 and accepted it as reliable.

    Yep. Fake but accurate.


    How should oral traditions be judged?

    A visit to Wikipedia finds an apparently non-moronic historian going under the name Gilbert Garraghan setting forth minimum historiographical standards for oral traditions. The biggies:

    The tradition should be supported by an unbroken series of witnesses, reaching from the immediate and first reporter of the fact to the living mediate witness from whom we take it up, or to the one who was the first to commit it to writing.

    There should be several parallel and independent series of witnesses testifying to the fact in question.
    Other requirements:
    The tradition must report a public event of importance, such as would necessarily be known directly to a great number of persons.

    The tradition must have been generally believed, at least for a definite period of time.

    During that definite period it must have gone without protest, even from persons interested in denying it.

    The tradition must be one of relatively limited duration. (Elsewhere, Garraghan suggests a maximum limit of 150 years, at least in cultures that excel in oral remembrance.)

    The critical spirit must have been sufficiently developed while the tradition lasted, and the necessary means of critical investigation must have been at hand.

    Critical-minded persons who would surely have challenged the tradition — had they considered it false — must have made no such challenge.
    Clearly the committee's rationale for accepting the Mandan oral tradition falls short of several of these requirements: there's no unbroken chain of witnesses; the smallpox epidemic is well over 150 years old (and who can say whether the Mandan "excel in oral remembrance," anyway?); and the tradition has been contested by a number of "critical-minded" people. Still, that tradition must be given at least equal weight with all the other "truths" the committee says are knocking around Fort Clark.


    An Aboriginal oral tradition

    This almost uncritical acceptance of Mandan oral tradition wouldn't fly with Keith Windschuttle, the Australian historian whose examination of Aboriginal oral traditions has made him an extreme skeptic of all such traditions. Windschuttle, whose work should be better known in the U.S., had this to say on the subject in a paper piquantly titled "Doctored evidence and invented incidents in Aboriginal historiography," that he read at the new Australian National Museum of History in December, 2001:

    I am well aware that there is often a postmodernist spin put on oral history and ethnic legends. This claims that traditional notions of history have been undermined by recent epistemological critiques, and that all cultures are authentic in their own terms, and that all legends are therefore true for their believers. The advocates of this view often apply it to such worthy cultures as those of ethnic and indigenous minorities, as well as other fashionable political interest groups. They rarely recognise that the same argument confers authenticity on the claims of cultures of which they might not approve, such as those of neo-Nazis, white supremacists, Islamic jihadists and other species of political depravity. This rejection of traditional empirical history leads to cultural relativism in which the legends, myths and prejudices of any culture become legitimate. It is a philosophy of anything goes. . . .

    Hilariously, Windschuttle proceeds to jump all over the devoutly multi-culti museum crowd, pointing out that the central exhibit in the Aboriginal section of the museum,

    a photographic display of the so-called Bells Falls Gorge Massacre near Bathurst in the 1820s, gave credibility to a mythological event for which there was no contemporary evidence. Although it is now claimed as part of ancient Aboriginal tradition, Aboriginal activists only learnt of it from an article about local legends written by a white amateur historian in 1962.
    With some exasperation, then, Windschuttle asks:
    How many times do we need to learn the same lesson? Old legends and oral history, unless they are corroborated by original documents, are worthless as historical evidence whether told by blacks or whites. Historians who go down this road leave the search for truth behind.
    Is it any wonder Australia's "black-armband" historians start twitching when they see Windschuttle shlubbing over the horizon? Their fear is so naked that at the annual confab of the Australian Historical Association in 2004, a motion specifically aimed at Windschuttle called for (as The Australian put it) "a code of ethics that would gag historians from criticising the integrity of their peers in public." Highly instructive. This country is long overdue for its own Windschuttle.

    Update: Linked to the wrong CU committee report. Fixed now.

    Update II: The Wikipedia historian's name is Garraghan, not Garragher as I had it. Fixed.

    Update III: Churchill minion "Glo" makes a pathetic attempt to fisk my argument in the comments to this post at Pirate Ballerina. Worth reading to laugh at his (or her) typically shoddy methods and to watch, awestruck, as the Drunkablog employs a tiny piece of his massive brain to answer his (or her) arguments. Glo is right about one thing, though: I do seek to "undermine" ethnic studies in general.