Finally, a newsletter for us

The PERA "Inactive Member" newsletter. Not that kind of inactive member.  There are other "newsletters" out there the D-blog uses to deal with that.



No, PERA is the Colorado Public Employees Retirement Association, and I am about as inactive a member as you can be, not having worked for the state in 20 years, and having had absolutely no money in its pension fund for the same amount of time.

Rantito: Like a lot of public employee pension funds, PERA is in the hole. Way in the hole, like $23 billion worth. This is because PERA, like a lot of public employee pension funds, did stupid shit like counting on an eight percent ROI, making "unfunded cost-of-living adjustments," and, if Denver radio yakker Mike Rosen is right, making some pension increases retroactive. So dumb.

Interesting fact or figure from the EDNews piece: "But between 2000 and 2011, contributions from state and local governments fell short by $3.5 billion and investments fell short over the same period. Investments in pension plans grew by 4.5 percent when they needed to grow by 8.4 percent, [some wonk] said."

Interesting fact or figure from the EDNews piece II: "A pessimistic analysis foresees the gap could grow to $35 billion, while more upbeat forecasts calling for 9.5 percent annual returns on plan investments mean a $14.5 billion unfunded liability."

Interesting use of a once-hip word: "There is substantial evidence people value current wage more than they value deferred compensation,” [some other wonk] said. “The state has a limited number of compensation dollars that have to be divided. I would encourage you to think holistically about the compensation dollars being offered.”

Sigh

Taken in Kansas or Missouri or somewhere, late August, 2012.

The return of Occupy Denver?

Post: "Thousands of zombies, mutants overtake downtown Denver." (What, was downtown Denver running away?)

No, I see now it's just another benighted instant tradition imported from California, this one called a "Zombie Crawl." An alleged 10,000 showed up. Lots of zombie vomit on the sidewalks of Lodo by the end, I bet.

Update: Boy, did I call it, in general and in deeee-tail. Post: "Zombie Crawl and anti-police protesters mix leading to arrests."

Police made six arrests Saturday night during the seventh annual Zombie Crawl and third annual anti-police march, said John White, Denver police spokesman. . . .

 "The non-permitted march started around 7 p.m. with about 35 individuals, then zombies joined in," White said.

Apparently neither anarchists nor zombies need any stinkin' &tc.

This was the third Denver march "against police terrorism," according to the Denver Anarchist Black Cross website

"The march was attacked early on, as demonstrators and police contested control of the streets," the site states. "Demonstrators fought to hold ground, and a brief but brutal street fight erupted." . . .

Yeah, sure it did. Okay, so it's not Occupy Denver, but close enough. (We've noted the (Ward Churchill-approved) Anarchist Black Cross before, btw.) And the drunken zombies?

The sidewalks up and down the 16th Street Mall were covered in fake blood, trash and broken glass as thousands participated in the zombie event.

You wouldn't even have noticed the vomit.

Probably Buster after the humiliation of MommyBoy XXXVII

Teased on the Post's front page, even as we speak: Man with body parts in car faces 1st-degree murder charge.

A man arrested Wednesday after police found body parts that could be his mother in the back seat of his car made an initial court appearance Thursday morning in Arapahoe County District Court. Investigators at his home found a hand saw in the dishwasher.

Always such a neat boy. Fave grafs from the story:

[Alleged mumsywhacker] Ari Liggett told authorities he had planned to put the remains in a tub with vinegar and store them in a storage unit "in hopes that police would be unable to identify the prints or dental records," the affidavit said.

But he said he didn't have enough money for a storage unit, the affidavit said, and drove back home to get his PlayStation to pawn it for cash.

Update: Everybody knows that after six or seven years a new season of Arrested Development will be out on Netflix in 2013, right? It better be funny or, or, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe a chicken dance.

Update II: No, I don't need to ask if it's too soon.

Ramified

Billy Bob and I were lurking about the neighborhood as usual this morning when we (well, I--BB is pretty deef) heard music--some variety of crap rock--from the direction of Federal Boulevard. Turns out the Race for the Cure was meandering by.


Lots of people, blah, blah, read the article.

What's interesting, I aver, is that just yesterday I needed a new clicker for the garage door and found this:


The official Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure garage-door opener from Chamberlain. Fifty bucks. It appears to be the exact same opener as the non-Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure garage-door opener, not even engraved or anything, at the same price. The ad copy, though, says, "Proceeds from the sale of this limited-edition Clicker® remote control benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure."\

Maybe it comes with a certificate or something. And by "proceeds," do they mean "all proceeds?"  (rhet.)

Comparative begging

Got these notes from the candidates today. While I've received dozens of e-mails from Obama, this is the first one from Mitt. The difference in tone, but not only in tone, is striking. First der Mittenzer:

Dear Friend,

Twenty-three million Americans are struggling for work, and nearly one in six Americans is living in poverty. And still, President Obama and his liberal allies are asking for another chance to get it right. Our country can't afford to give it to them.

Paul Ryan and I, along with Republicans across the country, are doing everything we can to protect America's future and undo the damage of the last four years.

And so are our supporters. They've joined our cause and transformed this campaign into a nationwide movement. They've knocked on over 5 million doors and made over 30 million volunteer voter contacts.

That's 15 times more doors and 5 times more phone calls than at this same time in 2008 -- and that's incredible.

And even in these bleak economic times, our supporters are contributing out of their own pockets. In fact, 93% of all the donations received have been $250 or less.

We couldn't have gotten this far without that kind of commitment and support -- and because of it, we're on our way to winning this thing.

With just 32 days left until November 6, sustained nationwide support for our cause is critical. We need to win, we want to win -- and with your help we will.

Whether we’re talking about jobs, health care, debt, taxes, or foreign policy, the choice this election is clear. Barack Obama and his liberal allies don’t have a record to run on, or a plan for the future. Paul Ryan and I do, and with the help of Republicans up and down the ballot, America will have the real recovery it deserves.

Victory is in sight for Romney-Ryan and the Republican team. Donate now to help us get there.

Thanks,

Mitt Romney

Meh. But Romney begins by mentioning the 23 million "struggling for work." Obama as usual starts, and ends, with himself:

John --

There have been many times in my life when I've been counted out -- told that I couldn't do it, told not to speak out for what I believe in, told to not even run in the first place.

I've only gotten this far because I've had people like you with me every step of the way.

Right now the other side is trying to obliterate the hard work we've put in on the ground in this campaign by flooding the airwaves with factually inaccurate, negative attack ads.

If they win, they're going to dismantle everything we've accomplished together over the past three and a half years, and turn back the clock to the same failed policies that got us into this mess in the first place.

We cannot let that happen. There are only 32 days left in this campaign. If you're planning to take the next step, now is the time. Please donate $5 or more today:

https://donate.barackobama.com/Stand-With-Me

Thanks. It means a lot to know you've got my back.

Barack

Note: the D-blog does not have Barack's back. Hey-la, hey-la.

Update: Hate that Mittley feels it necessary to dredge up the bogus "one-in-six-living-in poverty" meme.

Tragic sneezing accident

This, you will be horrified (synonym for "amused") to learn, is the D-blog's formerly noble brow:


If the D-a-W is around when somebody asks me how I got tagged, she thinks it's funny to say, "Sometimes I just can't take it any more, you know? All the time jibber-jabber jibber-jabber, all the time 'give me a dollar, mommy,' all the time 'uh-oh, poop butt.' Sometimes it just takes a good elbow shot to shut him up."

But this is not what happened. I just sneezed with insufficient attention to the space around me, and smashed my precious upper head at barely subsonic speed into the counter of our really charming kitchen island. Hurt like a motherfucker, actually knocked me to my knees, and I bled rather spectacularly for a minute.

It's better now, but I still look like my Third Eye is trying to open. Ick.

Update: sneezing accidents are quite common; most of them, of course, are car wrecks.

Still miss Michael Kelly

In The Atlantic, Wendy Kaminer wonders if the Colorado Supreme Court's slapdown of Ward Churchill means "The End of Free Speech at University of Colorado [sic]?" Yeah, there's a question mark at the end, but Kaminer's answer, of course, is an unequivocal "yes." And not just at CU, natch.

To reach that conclusion, Kaminer starts with, and continually hammers, one assumption: the jury in Ward's suit against CU found that the school had fired him for his offensive ("Li'l Eichmanns") speech; his "research misconduct" was just an excuse the school ginned up to get rid of him. So ruled the jury, so believes Wendy. She's also not crazy about the "quasi-judicial immunity" stuff, which, who is (Update V)? (Neither Neal nor ACTA, by the way, has commented on the CSC's decision yet, as far as I can find.)

On maneuvers

Found in a pile of weird books:



The D-blog will never read it, of course. No, being the D-blog, he's just going to assume that "Dr." "Heimlich" has a whomping case of "when all you have is a hammer" syndrome, and will attempt to apply his awkward yet strangely erotic "maneuver" to every conceivable medical situation. Let's check out the ToC.

"Look at the Bleeding." Endowing a child with a healthy attitude about bleeding and other emergencies.

Dad: See how your blood sprays almost to the ceiling, Billy? That's how powerful the heart is. Now, let's see how high it'll go when I perform that new maneuver on you . . .

Billy: GAck!

Okay, "Poisonings. What to have available in advance . . ." Not very good phraseology, huh? And how does Henry work the maneuver in for poisonings?

Husband: Oh, my God, Mary! What's wrong with her, Doctor?

Doctor: I smell bitter almonds, the invariable sign of cyanide poisoning! Here, hold her upright so that I may perform the Heimlich Maneuver! It will expel the poison through her eyeholes!"

Mary: GAck!

Maybe not. Okay, abdominal pain. Surely the Heimlich is appropriate there. Say, if you need your appendix burst or something. GAck.

Hey, here's ol' Henry now!


What? This finger? Oh, you don't wanna know about this finger. No, I'm serious, the stories I could tell you about this finger. . .

Oddly, this isn't the first time I've employed "Dr Heimlich's Final Solution to Choking" in the unavailing attempt to commit funny.

Figure out the typo!

The Jefferson Park (my neighborhood) News: "Street Closures: The following streets will be closed from 4 a.m. to approximately 1:00 a.m. on Sunday, October 7 . . ."

Colorado Supreme Court rules against Ward Churchill in his bid to regain CU job

Steeeerike two! Since the D-blog missed the story by a mere 24 hours, he'll throw you to Mr. Pirate Ballerina, who has the interesting facts and figures as well as other stuffs both educational and amusing, like that Wart sold his Boulder house and moved to Atlanta a few weeks ago, a sign that even he knows he's not going to be teaching at CU (or likely anywhere else, for pay) again.

D-blog prediction: The U.S. Supreme Court has more important things to fuck up and will decline to hear Wart's case.

Anyway, as penance for being so late on this I waded through the comments at the AP story the Post lazily went with. Anti-Wart by a huge margin, but still, and as usual with newspaper comments, profoundly dumb (with a couple of exceptions I'll let you not look for).

But I noticed something odd. Look at how the Post notes those comments that have been edited by the commenters who make them. The Post will say, for example, "Last edited by _______ [the commenter], on Yesterday, 6:48 p.m., edited two times in total."

Besides the atrocious grammar, see how they count how many edits a commenter makes? Never seen that before. What's funny is, they don't do that for their own (or AP's, or anyone else's) stories. On those all they note is, for example (from the present story): "Posted: 09/10/2012 08:24:16 AM MDT September 10, 2012 5:41 PM GMT Updated: 09/10/2012 11:41:37 AM MDT"

"Updated," not "edited." And no hint on how many times it's been edi--updated. Strange.

But I depress. If this were a blog that, like some, encouraged the dipping of dangling anatomical parts into containers of artificially flavored, HFCS-sweetened trifle at moments of triumph, this CSC decision would warrant one of those itty-bitty kiddie-pac pudding thingies (those who have read Portnoy's Complaint no doubt will find a use for the bologna that's in the little sandwich as well).

Think I'll go back to bed.

Update: In Westwad, Chutch attorney David Lane opens up to his special bud Michael Roberts:

"I have very little faith in judges generally," Lane says. "I think judges, by and large, are appointed by the rich and powerful to protect the rich and powerful's interests in society. That's what their inclination is to do, and I think that's unfortunate."

After all, Lane continues, "no one ever said Ward Churchill's First Amendment rights weren't violated.

The man is truly insane. But he's realistic enough about his chances with the U.S. Supremes:

"I don't have a lot of hope," he admits. "We should win, because the law should be on our side -- and I think it is on our side. So this is our last shot. But the statistical odds of the U.S. Supreme Court taking this case are pretty slim."

Read whole thing for other nuggets and the overly circumspect statements of CU prez Bruce Benson and chancellor Phil DiStefano.

Just got home from Illinois . . .

Actually last week, but whatever. Picasa for some reason wouldn't let me upload pics of my amazing journey (or anything else). Now it will. This after all the problems I've had with Blogger working on Google Chrome and with Echo barring me from my own comments. I'm moving to Wordpress.

As soon as I work up the courage. In the meantime, travel pics 'n' persiflage! The pic above has nothing to do with the trip, it's just a creepy clown a neighbor gave me. I was going to try to freak out the tenants around back by moving it incrementally closer to their door every day, but the evil little 'tard gave me the heebie-jeebies, so it ended up here:



Pics of trip some time or other! Wait here until they appear! It might be a little while!

The D-blog has one for when Ma comes visitin'

Post: "Stunt family brings thrills to Loveland."

That's kind of a lascivious headline, isn't it? Or is that just me?

Trustworthy name

Rastus Schaubhut, who in a recent e-mail describes the D-blog as "Intimate like a god of loveho." Actually the D-blog is just assuming Rastus is describing the D-blog, for the D-blog has not opened Rastus's missive, and never will. But who else could he be describing? Oh, yeah.

More landlord knavery

Front page of the Post right now: "Pueblo landlord gets 4 years for hiring homeless to remove asbestos":

A Pueblo landlord was sentenced to four years in state prison for hiring homeless people to remove asbestos from the condemned multi-family home he was demolishing .

Thomas K. Tienda, 49, was convicted on eight felonies in the case prosecuted by the Colorado Attorney General's Office. . . .

"Sheer greed drove Tienda to cut costs at the expense of the public and jeopardized the health of vulnerable members of our society, the homeless," said Colorado Attorney General John Suthers said [sic] in a statement Friday. "A four-year prison sentence is appropriate and proves that this type of unscrupulous behavior will not go unpunished."

Kind of evil, huh? But I can empathize. As a landlord, you quickly become willing to do almost anything to avoid spending money. It's part of the code. But sometimes, yes, that kind of money-saving zeal can lead a 'lord (that's what we call ourselves, "''lords") to cut corners a leetle too much.

One time, for instance, I hired a bunch of vulnerable members of our society to replace my roof. Man, were they cheap. I soon learned, however, that vulnerable members of society, while cheap, are also surprisingly porous.

Shew. Lot of wasted effort on that one, and now I'm way too tired to denounce myself. Maybe tomorrow.

Even if he paid the rent in advance . . .

KOA is reporting the hot news that the "Theater Killer" or whatever they call him has been evicted from his Aurora apartment. As a landlord, yeah, quite possibly that would be the last straw for me, too. Only difference is it would take longer to evict him in Denver.

Haven't mentioned it for a while, but (and I say this with all due modesty), my tenants love me:


Tenants: We love the landlord!

They really do.

One demerit for failure to use the phrase "surgical precision"

The Post: "Livestock mutilations shake up Gunnison ranching community":

GUNNISON — Recent livestock mutilations have Gunnison area ranchers shaken and on the alert for more strange attacks on cattle and horses.

In recent weeks, a horse was shot and had its head skinned at the LeValley Ranch property, which is part of the Esty Ranch holdings about eight miles east of Gunnison. The horse also had its tongue and anus removed.

Tuuuuuu, what now?

Less than two months ago, a prize heifer in the same heavily traveled area just off of Colorado 50 and Colorado 114 had its tongues [sic], lips and anus removed.

There's that anus again. And now lips along with the tongue(s). Sounds like they're making some kind of sick crazy sex aid, chief. Or maybe finishing out a cow-suit. It rubs the udder balm on its skin, or else something something . . .

"To me it looks like a ritualistic issue. Either that, or they are high on drugs. There is just no logical explanation for it," said Esty Ranch owner Mike Clarke. . . .

I'll stick with the sick crazy sex aid angle.

The four mutilations [in recent months] have prompted the Gunnison County Stockgrowers Association to offer a $500 reward [cheap!] for any information that will lead to a conviction. The Colorado State Patrol has also been alerted to watch for strange activities in that area. The Gunnison County Sheriff's Office, the agency investigating the mutilations, did not return phone calls asking for comment. . . .

The recent mutilations have similarities to mutilations that occurred in the 1960s in neighboring Saguache County. The most famous incident was reported in 1967 when a horse that became known as Snippy [Post link] had its head and neck skinned. Like [sic] in the most recent cases, there was no blood at the scene or tracks. The mutilations were never solved. . . .

Can't believe I'd never heard of Smiley, uh, Snippy, before.

Clarke said if there is another incident he expects "the ranching community will really be up in arms." . . .

Literally.

The story of Snippy (2006), by the way, is majestic. It begins:

She stands quietly at the back of an empty room inside Dell's Insurance Agency just off the main street. She is little more than bones and big shiny teeth. And she is at the center of a controversy involving an eBay auction, lawyers and ownership rights.

Here you might ask the obvious question: What the heck is Nicole Richie doing in a vacant room in an insurance office in a small Colorado potato town?

Of course, it isn't really Nicole Richie (who?) in that cursed Colorado Potato Town (sort of demands caps, doesn't it?) but Snippy! the Peeled-headed Horse! Read on your own time.

Ludicrous headline introduces laughable story

And it's alllllllllllll (beat) in the Post! Actually it's in the Gamera, but the Post reprinted it and I wanted to get that old jingle in. Headline: "Boulder scientists: Earth observing more carbon each decade." There's a whole lot of stupid here, but this is the best graf:

While carbon sinks are absorbing an increasing amount of carbon, the amount of carbon left in the atmosphere is also increasing. The atmospheric concentration of carbon in the atmosphere is rapidly approaching 400 parts per million, [lead author Ashley] Ballantyne said, compared to a pre-industrial concentration of about 280 parts per million.

Of carbon. In the atmosphere. Question: Who' s doing the conflating of carbon and carbon dioxide here, science-y sort Ashley Ballantyne or reportress Laura Snider? If it's Ballantyne, we don't need to ask, but if it's Snider, we probably do: is the conflation deliberate or just ignorant?

Oh, the study appears in Nature. Too sad for snark.

Update: Of course, A. Watts had it a while ago, and reprinted the whole CU press release, in which the authors use "carbon" and "CO2" and "carbon dioxide" interchangeably. They also appear to be fully paid-up warmists. Can't wait to read the comments.

New Yorker writer resigns after making up Dylan quotes

And, of course, getting caught doing so. The Post has the AP story:

A staff writer for The New Yorker has resigned and his latest book has been halted after he acknowledged inventing quotes by Bob Dylan.

Jonah Lehrer released a statement Monday through his publisher, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, saying that some Dylan quotes appearing in his book "Imagine: How Creativity Works" did "not exist." Others were "unintentional misquotations, or represented improper combinations of previously existing quotes."

How creativity works. New York mag has more, with links (the website for Tablet magazine, which broke the story, is currently crushed). Basically Lehrer got caught because he'd just got caught plagiarizing himself in earlier New Yorker pieces. He then tried to lie out of it by claiming he'd gotten the Dylan quotes from unreleased hunks of Martin Scorcese's doco on same.

Yeah, big deal, another young writer a little too eager for whatever it is young writers are eager for (books, a handsome desk, tweed jacket with elbow patches--stuff like that, I'd imagine). But this was odd. AP says,

Among Lehrer's inventions was a quote that first appeared in the famous documentary from the mid-1960s, "Don't Look Back," in which Dylan tells a reporter about his songs that "I just write them. There's no great message." In "Imagine," Lehrer adds a third sentence—"Stop asking me to explain"—that does not appear in the film.

I've looked several places--a Times blog, Forbes, Huffpo--and that's the only fake quote quoted: "Stop asking me to explain." (The Tablet probably has more, but, again: crushed.) Why did Lehrer add that? What does he think it adds? A tiny look at possible Dylan peevishness? Seems like a lot of risk for such a small character revelation. Hell, if you're gonna make up quotes, why not go for the wow? "I just write them. There's no great message. Elvis sucks cocks in Hell."

On the other hand why, if there are punchier made-up quotes quoted in the Tablet piece, did AP use that one? I mean, "Stop asking me to explain" over "Elvis sucks cocks in Hell"? Are there no editors any more?

Update: Have just been informed that young writers do not lust for desks or elbow patches or such nonsense, but for other things, IYKWIMAITYD.

Update II: Just noticed that Huffpo posted some tweets of readers' suggested fake Dylan quotes. "Elvis sucks cocks in Hell" holds up rather well.

Finally

James Holmes has aquired his well-earned mass-murderer middle name. It's "Eagen." James Eagen Holmes. Conduct yourselves accordingly.

Update: I see others are spelling it "Eagan." Whatever.

Aurora mass shooting

The Telegraph, probably not surprisingly, has better coverage than the Denver Post. Here's some eyewitness stuff. TV coverage is unwatchable, of course, but must-watch all the same.

Update: TV coverage no longer must-watch. Smarmy repetitive bastards.

Update II: The Telegraph's liveblog or whatever has this (last graf) at 7:32 MDT:

. . . We could hear screaming and chairs being broken around us so we just figured we would stay down. There were about 50 to 75 gun shots, we were playing dead for about 45 seconds or a minute.

Forty-five seconds or a minute. Is that all the time it took for this guy to kill 12 (originally reported as 14) people?

Update: Back up to 14, according to KOA radio.

Update IV: Back down to 12, according to KOA. Jaysus.

You know what this means . . .

That's right! Venerable North Denver Italian restaurant Pagliacci's is closing August 19 after 66 years.

Or, as the Denver Post put it: "Pagliacci’s, North Denver’s [check] venerable [check] Italian restaurant [check check], will close Aug. 19 after 66 years [hah!] serving up such classic dishes as calamari fritti, caprese salad, gnocchi, fettuccine with bolognese sauce and a memorable seven-layer lasagna."

Oddly enough, we were there just this past Friday night, and as soon as we walked in we knew something was wrong. Maybe it was the bowling-ball-clutching half-clown-suited ladies hovering menacingly over every table, but there was definitely tension in the air.

Oh, the D-blog had the gnocchi. It was gummy. In fact, being an in-the-moment kind of guy, the D-blog made just that observation at the time: "This is gummy." Some genius, either the D-a-W or one of the D-blog's many easily replaceable sisters, replied, "I think it's supposed to be gummy."

Oh.

The Post's story (teased on the front page at the moment) is by William Porter, Restaurant Critic, who grittily notes that a developer bought the place and plans to put up (evil squealing serial-killer music here) an apartment building on the site. But Porter notes the tender side of the Pagliacci's story as well, long before its kulak owners sold out to the man for some gold:

The Pagliacci’s story is a good one, ripe as a tomato with immigrant ambition, the American dream, and even a love story. It was founded in 1946 by [Frank] Grandinetti, a Sicilian produce vendor who six years earlier had met his future bride, Thelma Balzano. The family legend has it that one day when Thelma leaned out her window to chat with Frank, he tossed her an apple.

I heard he threw it at her, which logically is the only way such a boring incident could reach legendary status, and even then only if he left a significant dent in her head. Anyway, it's clear Mr. Porter is ripe as a tomato with writing talent and perhaps a love story. I will look out for his offerings in the future.

Update: The caption on the photo of the ball-wielding ladies reads, "In 1952, Pagliacci's founder Frank Grandinetti sponsors a bowling team with, l to r, Billy Carbaugh, Hazel Dopheide, Jen Campbell, Genevieve Sellers and Mary Friedl." Scary stuff.

Update II: As several commenters at the Post note, Pagliacci's minestrone is super-excellent*.

*Sorry, it was either "super-excellent" or "to die for," so no contest there.

WATCH THIS SPACE

Thanks.

Patriotic theme today!

He said sullenly. Okay, here's a sculpture that recently appeared in front of Brown International Academy (formerly Brown International Baccalaureate School, formerly Brown Elementary), which the D-a-W and I used to live across the street from, almost:

Kiddies with their hands over their hearts, looking up at . . .

An empty flagpole, but you get the idea.

It's very weird. As you can tell by its name changes, poor Brown has been buried under all the worthless tranzi-eco-multi-culti fads its been possible to heap on it, and the school is actually quite diverse, racial-wise*, and yet, look at this sculpture. Five kids with no ethnic tells at all honoring the flag.


Even weirder, all the kids' noses are exactly the same.

And there's a rat looking on.

Must be ironic. Okay, enough patriotism. Here's a sodey machine with some holiday words of wisdom:


Yes, do.



A wedding party, I guess, at Sloan Lake.

See if you can find the goose-stepping duckling.

A member of the beloved Hat Patrol.

Sworn to drive 45 in the left lane--for YOU!

And lest our enemies forget . . .

He's pissed, he's riding an eagle, and he's got a rocket launcher.

*As the D-blog noted in 2007, "Brown is 74 percent "Hispanic," seven percent "Pacific Islander," seven percent "American Indian or Alaska Native" and six and five percent respectively "White" and "Black." Wild."

Indisputable

Post: "Guest commentary: Rides to a mental health clinic should be dependable."

Heat stroke

Strange poll on the opinion page of the Post: "The mercury has already soared past 100 degrees in Denver five times this month. Do you think the heat is connected to anthropogenic (human-caused) climate change?"

They think they need to explain "anthropogenic." Anyhow, answers are:

"No. It's just another example of extreme weather conditions. That's Colorado" (leading with 344 of 605 votes, 56.85 percent);

"Yes. And stupid questions like this only feed skeptics who ignore reality" (206, 34.04); and

"Maybe. Not that I'm a doubter, I'm just not sure this is connected to climate change" (55, 9.09).

The "no" answer is reasonably straight, but look at that "yes" answer. Such hostility. Amazing that the editor or reporter or flunky who thought it up managed to avoid, at least in the published version, the dread "D" word.

But it's the "Maybe" answer that's really weird. ."Not that I'm a doubter . . ." Blank eyes turn toward the doubter. The piteous screaming begins . . .

Somebody at the Post actually thought this poll up. And the Post printed it. Although to be fair, they do include a pic of a hot, sweaty chick to add pizzazz, like so:

Helps a little, huh?

Went to a Rockies game t'other day

First time in several years, for reasons I have yet to explore with my therapist. One of them is probably racism, though, wouldn't you think?

Crummy game, Crotchies lost, etc., but I got a pic of little stormcloud nips (to the right of the light towers) disgorging some feeble moisture. None of the rain came close to making it to the ground, of course, not in this drought-plagued ol' fungustown.

Rockies. Game. Well. Hell, since I'm just throwing pics around all profligate-like, here's one of Billy Bob in his "Dying Hole":


That's what the D-a-W calls it, anyway: his "Dying Hole."

Some other dog actually dug it, but BB quickly took it over. It's perfect for him, nestled as it is in the deep shade of Silver Lace vines and commanding a view of most of the backyard, three backyard gates and the whole south side of the house.

Not that BB ever moves if he detects a disturbance, of course. He just, you know, notes it and goes back to sleep.

About the appellation "Dying Hole." The D-a-W, unfortunately, has this thing she does where she points out far too often that a) Billy Bob is olddddddd; and b) he will probably croak in the not-altogether-unforeseeable furture. Her latest way of reminding me of this is to call BB's hole the Dying Hole, a term she got from the animated movie Madagascar 2: Something, something, in which hypochondriac giraffes use the term for where they go to croak.

I'll quit now.

Yesterday's spam e-mail winner

"Your new erection will have all the lads . . ."

No way I was going to open it to find out what effect this fresh-as-a-daisy boner would have on the "lads," so you'll just have to take your dark imaginings from the, uh, header.

*Cough*

Downtown Denver this morning through the haze of smoke from the High Park wildfire near Fort Collins, 65 miles north of here.

Not as bad as the Hayman fire in 2002, which was much closer to Denver and rained ash and the occasional cinder on the poor Queen City of the Plains for two or three days. It also melted metal into squirrel shapes, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Today, you could definitely taste the smoke.

For comparison, Denver from almost the same spot, sans smoke:

Damn me if I know why the pic is so huge, or how to (de? un? dis?) embiggen it.

Better late than never

For some reason Ward Churchill decided that right about now would be a good time to reply to a two-and-a-half-year old article on his case by Ellen Schrecker, "Ward Churchill at the Dalton Trumbo Fountain," that appeared in the inaugural (2010) volume of the AAUP Journal of Academic Freedom (Ward's reply is in volume three (2012) of the same journal).

In her article (which PB mocked at the time) Schrecker, a member of the all-powerful Committee A on Academic Freedom and Tenure of the American Association of University Professors (AAUP), actually does criticize Churchill, a little, but ultimately excuses him with a boys-will-be-boys flippancy: "Churchill did not have to be dismissed. Plagiarists and charlatans remain on other faculties."

Yes, yes they do. Anyway, you know Churchill wasn't gonna let that go by, whether she concluded that his case was "tainted from the start" or not. But why it took him so long to respond I don't know, unless he was saving the piece for the Colorado Supreme Court, which heard oral arguments in his case Thursday and allegedly will render an opinion within (God) several months. Getting them to add this rebuttal to their post-orals reading would be quite the feather in Wart's cap, so to speak, wouldn't it?

The piece is crap, of course, with a few nuggets sprinkled in. In the first four pages, for example, Wart calls the Denver Post "openly reactionary;" implies Schrecker is a McCarthyite; and flatly says that she's a race-baiter.

Actually only about half the piece is a direct attack on Schrecker; most of the rest is an attack on the national AAUP, which has repeatedly failed to officially support Ward at critical points in his travails over the last few years. It's pretty funny, because Ward is right: the AAUP pussied out on him, and has generally pussied out in dealing with radical academics from its start.

Doesn't make Ward any less of a liar and a cheat, of course.

Ace bans comments

Temporarily, I guess, while threatening to let the Ace of Spades blog "go dark" because of some persistently wedgeheadish commenters.

Don't really think that'll happen, at least, because Ace also says, "registration is coming," perhaps as early as Monday.

Short of actually nuking the blog, commenter registration is probably the worst thing that could happen. For one thing, wouldn't it kill sockpuppeting, the near art form practiced by some of the commenters over there?

Worse, it would kill the whole freewheeling, spontaneous nature of AoS threads, in which commenters strive to either top or build on one another toward the same goal: teh funneh (or, alternatively, teh serioso).

This is bad. And it's just another hunk of fallout from the brouhaha with the guy who, I now firmly believe, did not set off bombs in Speedway, Indiana. (Courage!)

What a fucking mess.

Update: Shadow comments site here.

We are all bad men

There's a guy who comments frequently at Althouse whose icon is Billy Mumy pointing angrily.

Thusly.

Finally bothered to track it down, and yep, it's a still from Billy's turn as the malevolent little kid with God-like powers (and the family who loves him) in the 1961 Twilight Zone episode, "It's a Good Life."

You've probably seen it, or know the story, but here's six-plus minutes of highlights anyway.

Still pretty creepy.

Inevitably I ended up at the wiki for the episode. Interesting, he averred weakly, especially the paragraph about the 2008 theatrical adaptation of the original short story, which notes that the play included some new scenes, in one of which

Anthony's [the mean widdle god's] mother apologizes [to a neighbor and his boy] for "what happened to your dog." The boy responds, "Yes, it was good that Anthony made Jasper choke to death eating his own paws."

Now that's playwritin'! Suck it, Serling! After that, the paragraph can only end lamely:

Also, Dan Hollis kills himself with shards of his birthday record rather than Anthony transforming him into something awful.

Zzzzzzzzz.

Reporter still immune to* evenhandedness

Westword's Michael Roberts recounts the arguments the state Supreme Court will be hearing today in the Ward Churchill case--as told to him, of course, by Wart's lawyer, David Lane. Once again Roberts doesn't bother to ask CU if they might have a comment or two, either on the case itself or Lane's spin on same.

Roberts says the hearing "is slated to last an hour, with a ruling expected to following [sic] several months from now." Sheeeeeit. I'm going to be older than Wart before this is over.

Update: Piece in the Gamera on the hearing. David Lane mouths the p's as usual:

The attorney for Ward Churchill told the Colorado Supreme Court this afternoon that the University of Colorado conducted a sham investigation to retaliate against the former professor for his controversial post-9/11 essay that compared some World Trade Center victims to a notorious Nazi.

Which Nazi was that, anyway? Been so long I kinda forgot. Oh, sorry, David Lane:

"First and foremost, is that if free speech cannot find a safe haven on a university campus, this society, in general, is in decline," attorney David Lane told the court during a one-hour hearing at the Colorado Capitol.

The D-blog is probably just ignorant (remove risible "probably"), but why one hour? Why not one day? A week? A month (like Wart's trial)? No doubt both sides could fill the time.

Anyhow, CU attorney Patrick O'Rourke, answering Lane, was a little more substantive:

But CU attorney Patrick O'Rourke said the university was well within its rights to fire Churchill."If you approach this case from a First Amendment standpoint, the university wins," O'Rourke said. "Here's why: It's absolutely clear under federal law that a governmental entity may discharge an employee for otherwise protected speech when then employee's conduct is disruptive to the operation of the entity.

Did CU take much more than a tiny stab at this argument during the trial? Don't think so. Weird.

Lane responded by saying that while the university fielded several angry complaints from citizens outraged by Churchill's speech, his employment didn't cause a disruption. He said that CU's firing of Churchill was to appease those angry about Churchill's essay, which was protected by the First Amendment.

"It was a torch light parade -- a march by angry citizens -- to Regent Hall all but armed with pitchforks, demanding that the monster, Ward Churchill, be turned over for immediate destruction," Lane said.

Perfectly accurate, except for the torches, the march, the pitchforks, and the "immediate destruction" (sigh).

Supreme Court Justice Greg Hobbs posed questions for both attorneys, asking O'Rourke whether a Vietnam-era professor who burned an American flag in protest of the war should be fired for upsetting others and causing outrage.

He asked Lane why CU should be forced to rehire Churchill if investigations found academic fraud in his work.

And our no doubt delightful reporter, Brittany Anas, doesn't tell us what either one answered. She does note that "Churchill dodged questions from reporters, saying that he'll comment on his appeal after the Supreme Court issues a ruling in the coming months." . . .

There's that word again: Months. Anas has more, but screw it. But be sure to watch the video at the top of the story of Chutch leaving the courtroom. How does one single person exude (yes, exude) so much sheer charisma?

*Retarded preposition replaced by correct one due to the cruel taunting of the Participle Police.

Ray Bradbury

At 91 (that's Althouse's link to the NYT). I'll just post The Veldt and leave it at that (X Minus One, 4 August 1955).

First?

Fox (radio) just said that the Wisconsin vote today will determine whether Scott Walker is the first governor to survive a recall that actually made it to the ballot. I did not know that.

Jerry Krantz

The Post:

Jerry Krantz, the longtime owner of landmark Denver jazz club El Chapultepec, died Tuesday morning. He was 77.

In its heyday, El Chapultepec welcomed music legends such as Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Ella Fitzgerald, as well as visiting rock stars like Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger. Krantz's insistence on free, live, straight-ahead jazz every night of the week helped the 'Pec — as insiders affectionately call it — stand out on the corner of 20th and Market Streets.

Haven't been there in years, but back then we called it "the 'Pec, too, so I guess we were "insiders." Wonder why nobody ever told us.

Even President Bill Clinton played his tenor sax on stage there.

"I've had everyone in here but Jesus," Krantz was once quoted as saying.

No, Jesus played there once, too. Oh, wait. That was Art Blakey (scroll down a little).

The club opened in 1933, the day after Prohibition was repealed and decades before Coors Field and historic preservation turned Lower Downtown into a haven for sports bars and trendy restaurants. Krantz began bartending at El Chapultepec in 1958 and inherited it a decade later from his father-in-law Tony Romano.

"He was there just about every night," said musician Freddy Rodriguez, who met Krantz in 1979 and has been playing at El Chapultepec ever since. "He'd sit in the back all night every night. He never came and sat down front where the music was happening, but he knew what he wanted and he just loved the jazz community."

Freddy led--or I guess leads--the house band there. A friend of mine who sat in with them a time or two always called the band, "Freddy and the Plastic-hairs." No idea why.

Krantz's love of jazz and hard-nosed approach to running the bar earned both a loyal audience and the respect of countless musicians — as well a national reputation rich in dive-bar lore. One story says Krantz won the bar in a poker game. Another tells of him knocking an unruly patron's teeth out with a pool cue.

Dive-bar lore: One time (and only one time) I stopped by El Chapultepec in the afternoon. There were three customers, including me, at the bar, and that was it. The guy on my right had his head comfortably ensconced in one of those red plastic bowls of stale popcorn Jerry was so generous with. The guy on my left, while equally passed out, had managed to remain upright on his stool. This simalcrum of consciousness was somewhat marred, unfortunately, by the foot-long hunk of iridescently green snot hanging out of his nose.

One of the few times the D-blog has ever lent sparkle to a gathering.

In piece [sic] for Esquire magazine, long-time Denver-based writer J.R. Moehringer called Krantz cranky and charismatic, a "full-blooded Russian" who didn't take any guff from customers and handled his business brusquely and efficiently.

Cranky, si. Brusque, certainly. Charismatic, not so much.

El Chapultepec "smells like New York, feels like New Orleans, and sounds like southside Chicago," Moehringer wrote for the magazine.

It's just a tiny place; I doubt you could legally stuff 75 people in there--though there was often double that on good nights. I'll let the guy with the discerning nose have his way on what the place smelled like. The fact remains that the 'Pec (see, insider!) was one of the main reasons the D-blog could confidently say: Denver: Not a cowtown.

"His big thing is that he always wanted it to be for everybody," said Krantz's daughter Anna Diaz. "At the time when he started it you'd get dressed up to go to the symphony, and there were people who had never even seen live music. So there was no cover charge, no dress code. The bums on the street were just as welcome to come and listen as the millionaires." . . .

There was, I believe, a two-drink minimum, though. Bums hardest hit.

Oh, well. RIP Jerry.

Nothing much new

In this Gamera story on next week's hearing of oral arguments before the Colorado Supreme Court in Ward Churchill's case. But at least an actual daily newspaper finally noticed.

Meant to go, I swear

To the Service Employees International Union rally in downtown Denver today. The Post covered it, and the D-blog would have too, if he hadn't forgotten about it.

Thank God he did though, for the Post contains this horrifying paragraph toward the end of the story:

"Following the rally, they [presumably the rallyers or whatever] performed a flash mob dance on Broadway."

Cost what little's left of the D-blog's life to have even watched such a thing. And just to be pick-nitty, doesn't a flash mob have to be gathered spontaneously by a "flash" to potential mobsters over your various electronic communication devices? I mean, they were already there, so how can it be a flash mob? Huh? Huh?

Update: The Post has a slideshew. No flash-mob dancing.

Update II: There are surprisingly few pics of the June Taylor Dancers out there.

Gardening notes

Flowering syringes add éclat to any urban garden!


Found this tableau in the corner hunk of the front easement.

At least the little horticulturalists replaced the caps on the things. Urban gardeners are always considerate!

Tame

Shlumping around at Althouse this morning I saw a post from the 15th (hadn't been there for a while) noting the death of Mike McGrady, the Newsday reporter who in 1969 organized probably the greatest literary hoax in American history when he and a couple dozen other Newsday reporters wrote Naked Came the Stranger, which, as the NYT (sorry) notes, was

Intended to be a work of no redeeming social value and even less literary value, “Naked Came the Stranger” by all appearances succeeded estimably on both counts.

Originally issued by Lyle Stuart, an independent publisher known for subversive titles, the novel was a no-holds-barred chronicle of a suburban woman’s sexual liaisons, with each chapter recounting a different escapade:

She has sex with a mobster and sex with a rabbi. She has sex with a hippie and sex with at least one accountant. There is a scene involving a tollbooth, another involving ice cubes and still another featuring a Shetland pony.

The book’s cover — a nude woman seen from behind — left little to the imagination, as, in its way, did its prose:

"Ernie found what Cervantes and Milton had only sought. He thought the fillings in his teeth would melt.”

The purported author was Penelope Ashe, who as the jacket copy told it was a “demure Long Island housewife.” In reality, Mr. McGrady had dreamed up the book as ironic commentary on the public’s appetite for Jacqueline Susann and her ilk.

Yeah, social commentary. The only reason to mention it here is that the D-blog posted on Naked Came the Stranger way, way back, on only the second day of existence of his miserable blog. He was uninteresting then, too.

She's probably close to 70 years young by now.

Hey kids! What day is it? That's right! It's 'Blog about Brett Kimberlin' Day!

Since I don't think I'd ever heard of the dangerous jerk before yesterday, I'll just link to the first page of all the folks who are defending their and others' First Amendment right to speak the truth about the unrepentant domestic terrorist (hey, that phrase rings a bell).

Update: Here's Patterico's long, detailed post about the harassment and threats he, his wife and many others have been subjected to by Kimberlin and his minions. Though what Patterico's gone through is so much worse it constitutes a difference in kind not degree, it reminds me a little of the shit Ward Churchill, Benjie Whitmer and their pals pulled trying to intimidate me during the Wart brouhaha: publicizing my wife's ancient DUI in an effort to get her fired, accusing me of all manner of defugalties including panty-sniffing and window-peeping in Boulder County (which Wart claimed he found in official records), etc. Oh, and the threats of severe bodily harm and/or death. Can't forget those.

Remnants

Pretty much all that's left of Occupy!Denver:

A quarter-block of tarps and sleeping bags along 14th Avenue.

And another little hunk along Broadway.

That's it. No tents.

Sneak in a pic of the new Colorado Supreme Court building across 14th from the occupoopers. Mmmmm, pointy. Still, it's nicer than the old Supreme Court building.

Closeup along Broadway.

Same.

One supposes this is meant as a searing indictment.

Workers have torn out all the old sod at Civic Center, but you can still see where occupod tents were pitched under the trees. It's almost like those sidewalk shadows of people on the streets of Hiroshima after The Bomb was dropped.

In a fine example of the circle of life, however, bodies of occupods were efficiently converted into sod to replant the park.

Update: The recently enacted Denver "camping" ban, by the way, takes effect next Tuesday. It's very compassionate.

Colorado Supreme Court oral arguments set for Churchill case

June 7, 1:00 p.m., somewhere on the first floor of the City and County Building, according to the mustachioed spinsters at the Ward Churchill Solidarity Network, which also has Ward's brief, CU's reply, and Wart's reply to the reply.

Update: Oddly, maybe, neither the Post nor the Gamera has mentioned it.

Quality journalism

Somehow in trying to find out when the annular solar eclipse would begin in Denver on May 20 I ended up at a piece in Huffpo-Denver, which provided interesting facts and figures, but ended like this:

One of the most fun viewing spots on Sunday will likely be Folsom Field at CU-Boulder, where the university is hosting a free eclipse-watching party from 5:30 p.m. until sunset. University officials are expecting 10,000 - 15,000 viewers in attendance, The Denver Post reports.

The Denver Museum of Nature and Science is also hosting a free viewing party in City Park from 6 p.m. to sunset and will have solar telescopes available, but if you want to observe the eclipse away from the crowds, try one of these beautiful spots:

And that was the end of the story.

Update: Nobody's asked, but yes, I still live! I say nobody's asked, but here's what everybody was thinking:

Hello, hello! My dear Gaaaaawwwwwd,
It must be heeeeem, it must be heeeeem,
Or I shall die . . .

Why my crawlspace is getting crowded

So I was working in the yard and one of the ubiquitous six-year-old girls from a couple doors down stopped by to mess with the dogs.

First, she said there was a fly on my leg, and kicked me in the shin. To get the fly to go away, don't you know.

Next she told me how old her grandmother (whom I've known for like, 13 years) is. Then she asked me how old I am.

How old do you think I am, I asked.

"Seventy?" she replied.

I hate this neighborhood.

Update: I don't look a day over sixty-nine-and-a-half. A really hot sixty-nine-and-a-half. You all go die now.

Update II: Believe the Children!

Mike Wallace

He was, of course, a leftist-media dickhead who pretended to be evenhanded; he was just the oldest leftist media dickhead extant. He was not a pioneer of anything, except media arrogance. And cig smoking. But mostly media arrogance. And cig smoking.

However! Leave us not forget his wonderful turn in the Mirage Tavern scandal. The Daily Beast has what they think are his best interviews, but the one with the Chicago city inspector is inexplicably left out. And I can't find it on Youtube.

Jeez, one of the girls on the show I linked to at the top said 60 Minutes has been on for "more than 60 years."

Anyway, here's Myron in 1939, on the great old radio show Information Please, representing the University of Michigan as the "Spirit of Youth," specially voted on the show by many idiots. His arrogance is apparent even then. (Yesh, I've played this one before.)

Wart's speech

At his alma mammy, the University of Illinois at Spiffled (the former Sangaman (sic) State University). Good God, it's almost two-and-a-half hours long.



Enjoy!

Update: "Does anyone know what 'SangaMON' means?" He emphasized the "MON." I take a small bow.

Update II: He sounds drunk.

Update III: I had the year wrong on the Fort Clark mess. Other people did, too. That's all there was to it.

Update IV: Bill O'Reilly! Drink (yourself to death).

Update V: As is his wont, he accuses somebody else (a guy named Chris Dentro (sp)) of plagiarism. "Cut and paste, cut and paste." Not exactly dispositive, Wart.

Update VI: He attacks "the media." Hahahahahaha.

Update VII: Youtube: "1 views." I assume that's me. Why am I watching this?

Update VIII: I'm not quite a third of the way through. Wartie is discussing his completely warped view of the genesis of the American University. It's only 6:30, and I think I need to go to bed.

Update IX: Koch brothers! You're in the hospital already, so just drink from your IV!

Update X: Can't stand this ass. Gotta feed animals. Maybe I can stand to watch some more tomorrow (if you're lucky).

Since I'm just sitting here with my teeth in my mouth

I should mention that I have a rat snoring gently in the left front pocket of my dungarees. I don't talk enough about the other animals in this house. All Billy Bob, all the time, that's me.

Update: the rat's name is Sun; her companion is Estrella (sorry, kids named them).

Earl Scruggs

At 88. Nothing to add to the AP's obit, except to point out a lovely typo in the piece's penultimate line: "He is survived by two songs, Gary and Randy."

Well, sort of lovely.

Update: somebody fixed it.

That's what we figured

A new letter from my pal Barack. Header: "We had no idea."

Text:

John -- [No "Dear" again. I've had it with this rudeness]

As we count down to another critical fundraising deadline for this campaign, it's important to remember this:

We always knew this election would be about two competing economic plans -- whether we get to build on our progress or see it taken away.

Progress? And it's not about two competing economic "plans," it's about some lying, soft version of socialism (for a while) v. some reasonably mitigated form of capitalism.

But we had no idea we'd also be up against a social agenda that would roll back decades of progress [sic], particularly for women's health.

Women's. health. There it is. No idea if Sandra Fluke is a slut, and to be honest, I aspired to be a slut in my younger days (not much success there), so more power to her. But it's clear she's just another "activist," pushing for others to pay for how she chooses to live. I'll pass, begging your pardon and if it's all right with you. Sir.

That means the consequences of this election will be felt in more ways than we'd counted on -- and what you do this week will help decide what they are.

Will you donate $3 or more right now?

Uhhhh, I'll think about it (snort).

Hi, Barack! (waves)

The cremulation of Labor in Queensland yesterday was better than expected by almost everyone (on the right, of course). From 51 seats to "7 or 8." Wow. (Blair and Bolta are full of other election goodness.)

I like this from a commenter at WUWT, quoting the Courier-Mail (in, one supposes, Queensland):

8.38PM:

A merciless Bob Katter [some LNP muckety-muck] had some harsh words for Anna Bligh tonight, following her defeat at the polls [as Labor PM of Queensland].

“Did you really think people would vote for you?” he said.

“Congratulations Anna – you saved the trees but the people well and truly cut you down.”

And it’s too bad that American politicians & public can’t be more like the following [sic] instead of being distracted by personal hot button issues that have little effect on the nation as a whole: When asked about gay marriage, Mr Katter said: “We’re talking about serious issues.”

Of course, what the commenter doesn't say is that we're allowing the media to distract with these idiotic "hot-button" issues.

Update: WUWT fans (and fans of truth, justice and the Am--er, Australian way), will enjoy this thread.