This Valentine's Day, one publisher wants you to be the one doing the bodice-ripping.
Books by You says it sells thousands of personalized romance novels every year, with titles such as ER Fever and Pirates of Desire, where the reader is the star. It's not Bronte, but customers are going crazy for the novels that make them the main characters.
They have a little sample paragraph function so you can see how it works. All it asks for are names of hero and heroine, eye and hair color for same, and the name of the heroine's best friend. I used ER Fever:
That doesn't sound very romantic. Here's the excerpt:
Dickmunch McCrabs is a nurse with a passion for saving lives and no plans for adding a different kind of passion in her life. That is, until she meets Lance Smegma, a surfin' doc whose dazzling good looks and dedication to his patients are everything she's been looking for.
They fall into a steamy relationship that seems like pure bliss ... until a secret from the past is revealed. One that could cause a heartache no medicine can cure! So read on and get your prescription for passion, ER Fever!
New doc on the block! Dickmunch meets Dr. Smegma ...
...The two nurses prepared for the cardiac patient's arrival and heard the ambulance pull up outside County General's emergency room entrance. As Dickmunch and Buttface walked in the direction of the sliding glass doors, they saw a man in a white lab coat striding toward them.
“Hi, I’m Lance Smegma ,” he said, extending a hand to Dickmunch. She accepted it and was instantly captivated by his warm touch. His dark brown hair looked professionally messy, as if he had just rolled out of bed and into Dickmunch's ER. She could not help but notice that his body was perfectly proportioned and undeniably sexy.
“Dickmunch... Dickmunch...” she stammered, searching her memory for her surname. She was still shaking Lance 's hand when Buttface coughed loudly behind her, breaking her friend's reverie. “Dickmunch McCrabs,” she finally blurted out. “I’m the charge nurse tonight. Nice to meet you, Dr. Smegma.”
Her friend grinned at Dickmunch's unusually flustered demeanor. “And I’m Buttface, and here’s your first customer, Dr. Smegma,” she said hurriedly, as a stretcher wheeled past guided by two paramedics.
"We're ready in trauma room nine, guys," Dickmunch shouted over the noise of the ER...
Update: Where does Book by You get off telling women, "Can't think of a hero? Consider George Clooney or Brad Pitt!" and not saying to men, "Can't think of a heroine? Consider Emma Goldman or Mother Jones!"