Mmmmmm, extra buttery

Probably everyone and his dog has linked to this already (I know my dog has), but still, too weird to ignore. The Post:

"Man surprised by 'popcorn lung' diagnoses"

Centennial - Some people smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Some drink a few beers. The health risks are well documented.

But tasty, buttery, microwaveable popcorn?

Wayne Watson never figured his two-bag-a-day habit of his favorite store-brand extra-buttery popcorn was something that would harm him, but every day over the past decade — sometimes 3 bags a day — it has been doing just that.

Every day. Sometimes three bags a day. Pardon my Sanskrit, but, oooooooiiiink.

Watson can laugh now [ha-hack! ha-hack hack hack--haaaaack] that his "15 minutes of fame" [haaaaaaaaaaack!] has come as the result of eating too much popcorn. His lung capacity, which deteriorated to about 50 percent while he was popping corn, has stabilized and improved to about 75 percent since a doctor at National Jewish Medical and Research Center pinpointed the cause of his condition, broncheolitis obliterans. Or as it has come be known: "popcorn lung."

"Obliterans." That doesn't sound good.

However, the microwaveable popcorn industry isn't laughing. Three manufacturers responsible for most of the products sold in the United States said on Wednesday they would stop using diacetyl — the chemical tentatively associated with Watson's damaged lungs - as soon as possible.

As soon as possible? As soon as possible? You mean like after they run out of all the (checks notes, coughs up piece of lung) diacetyl they have on hand? Ha-hack!

Update: I mean, give me a break. As soon as possible?

Update II: Think anybody'll sue?