Seven or eight

(bumped from Feb. 8 because of newly added update IV. It's that important.)

If it's all the same to you, I'll take the gaspipe. The Post:

The founder and CEO of American Title Services in Centennial was found dead in his home this week, the result of self-inflicted wounds from a nail gun, according to the Arapahoe County coroner.

Richard Talley, 57, and the company he founded in 2001 were under investigation by state insurance regulators at the time of his death late Tuesday, an agency spokesman confirmed Thursday.

It was unclear how long the investigation had been ongoing or its primary focus.

A coroner's spokeswoman Thursday said Talley was found in his garage by a family member who called authorities. They said Talley died from seven or eight self-inflicted wounds from a nail gun fired into his torso and head.

Update: A loyal D-blog reader e-mails: "Yeah, why don'cha just take the gaspipe? G'wan, take it. Take it! TAKE THE GASPIPE!"

Update II: Alternate title for this post: "Torso and head."

Update III (15 February 2014): Another title: "Nailed it." Often I don't see what's right in front of me.

Update IV: Dictionary.com's weird definition of "Take the gaspipe":

"tv. and take the gas pipe. to commit suicide. (Originally by inhaling gas.): The kid was dropping everything in sight and finally took the pipe."

See, they change it from "take the gaspipe" to "take the pipe." These are very different phrases. Let's use each in a sentence:

1. Grampa took the pipe and puffed contendedly.

2. Grampa took the gaspipe and puffed contendedly.

Not the same thing at all. And what's this "(Originally by inhaling gas)" bizarreness? Are they trying to say that "take the gaspipe" now means, perhaps, drowning oneself? Jumping off a building? What? Dictionary.com does not explain.

Update V (3 March 2014): Too soon? Oh, and I never completely plumbed the strangeness of Dictionary.com's definition. Their sample sentence is creepily evocative, like an outtake from On the Waterfront:

Lee J. Cobb (to union flunky): What could I do? The kid was dropping everything in sight and finally took the pipe. Okay, maybe we helped him a little, but he took the pipe!

Update VI: You know who the kid reminds me of? Spider.