If you're looking for something to be thankful for this Christmas (besides the usual), how about this: you're not in jail (probably).
These were in a pile of papers somebody dumped somewhere (look ma, I'm Julian Assange!). They belonged to a guy who spent something over a year in jail (Delta Correctional Center in Delta, CO) for I know not what defugalties.
One of the first handouts they gave him, one imagines. "Carry yourself in a confident manner."
In chains, as he should be:
First (or maybe second) infraction: unauthorized mail stuff:
A note to his moll: "Thank you for being the piss in my pants."
Getting an aspirin.
"when they got me."
Some of us more than others:
Keeping up on the reading. No doubt this tome is where he got "Thank you for being the piss in my pants":
Determined to change his ways:
Second infraction, contraband clothes:
Parole! One hundred bucks goodbye money. Cheap bastards.
Tips for staying out:
Update: Whoops, forgot the last page of the "Checklist for success": "Certain lifestyles are costly":