Flar

It's still June.
Update, 9:45 pm: it's still June. The flower, by the way, is in the corner of the front yard over the storm drain, which has this printed on it:

Scary: What do they mean by "brains to stream?"

Update II: Remember Mittens and Snowdrop? You don't? Then, sorry.

Journalists to Foley: can we keep eating lunch?

This was posted on Romenesko today:

From LINDA FOLEY, Newspaper Guild-CWA president:

Like most in the journalism community, we are outraged and concerned about the contempt proceedings against Judith Miller and Matt Cooper. We would like to promote a demonstration of support and protest by coordinating two minutes of silence in newsrooms across America at noon EST on Wednesday, July 6. That's the day the district court judge has said he will impose jail sentences. We also are encouraging journalists to organize courthouse vigils throughout the country on the same day. We are soliciting support from various publishers and others who care about investigative journalism. This won't change the situation, unfortunately, but it will send a message that we all support the principles these colleagues are willing to go to jail for. It also will help build support for a national shield law. People can e-mail me or call 202-434-7177 if they'd like more information.

Update: Romenesko, July 1: A minute of silence in newsrooms accomplishes nothing.

Protesting the contempt proceedings against Judith Miller and Matthew Cooper with brief silence 'is a sweet symbolic gesture but accomplishes nothing,' writes Tom Farmer. 'If you really want to make a difference spend that minute, and thousands more, working up takeouts on the anatomy of fear-driven, market-focused corporate journalism and how it’s slowly anesthetized the American polity from almost everything that matters.'

Do these people ever realize how arrogant they sound?

Rocky blog: pupils fixed and dilated

Rocky editor John Temple posted on his "blog" Tuesday for the first time since June 21. The previous update was titled, scintillatingly, "Response to EEOC column," and had readers weighing in on Temple's column bitching about the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which recently nailed the Rocky for workplace racial discrimination to the tune of $375,000.

Temple's update Tuesday? "Response to my EEOC column," which, amazingly, also had a reader weighing in on the EEOC column. But see the difference? This one says "MY" EEOC column. Oh, the subhead says it's an "interesting letter." Gonna take your word on that, John.

Hey, maybe next week Temple can write a post titled something like, oh, I don't know, how about, "Even more response to my EEOC column." Yeah, that'll pull 'em in.

Temple's blog is moribund. Time to bury it and try again, though somehow I doubt that'll happen soon.

Update: It's a blog explosion!

Update II: Temple throws Drunkablog a curve: "EEOC responds to my critical column."

Ho-quo of the week

From Struggling Upward (or, as the Bralyn Archive calls it, "Strugup") (1868):

"Now, boys," said [the master of Center Grammar School], holding in his hand a Waterbury watch, of neat pattern, "I offer this watch as a prize to the boy who will skate across the pond and back in the least time. You will all start together, at a given signal, and make your way to the mark which I have placed at the western end of the lake, skate around it, and return to this point. Do you fully understand?"

"Yes, sir!" exclaimed the boys, unanimously. Before proceeding, it may be well to refer more particularly to some of the boys who were to engage in the contest. First, in his own estimation, came Randolph Duncan, son of Prince Duncan, president of the Groveton Bank, and a prominent town official. Prince Duncan was supposed to be a rich man, and lived in a style quite beyond that of his neighbors. Randolph was his only son, a boy of sixteen, and felt that in social position and blue blood he was without a peer in the village. He was a tall, athletic boy, and disposed to act the part of boss among the Groveton boys.

Bonus Ho-quo!


It seems to me, Ellen, that things are looking worse than usual.--From "Mrs. Cordner's Reformation," Gleason's Literary Companion (1865).

Good morning. Shut up.

Good morning.




Shut up.

Update: Y'all know who Gene Fowler was, right? He wrote Goodnight, Sweet Prince, about John Barrymore, Timberline, about the, uh, exuberant 19th Century owners of the Denver Post, and The Great Mouthpiece (among others), all of which are out of print. His headstone is sort of neat.

James M. Cain is better known, of course, for good reason. Never knew he'd written a story called "Santa Claus, M.D.," though. Must have needed money bad. (It appears in the wonderfully titled collection The Baby in the Icebox and Other Short Fiction.)

Update: Forgot to mention that Fowler's son had a long career in Hollywood as a film editor and directed I Was a Teenage Werewolf.

Party like it's 1984

Drunkablog was going to post the complete manifesto of the Progressive Labor Party and then make fun of it (!), but Drunkablog is tired, and therefore will make fun of just one point:

Communism means equality. No money. No wages. People working based on their commitment to each other and to building a communist society. Just as we do now in the Party.

"Just as we do now in the Party." As Jim Bouton once noted: yeah, sure.

Update: Their powerfist is lousy, too.

Trilectical Clintonianism

Though I'm not the first to notice, it bears repeating: Michael Moriarity is off his rocker. The emmy-winning former star of Law and Order holds forth these days in the digital pages of Enter Stage Right and The American Partisan, the editors of which apparently lack the courage to say, "for the love of God, Michael, get help." Here's a sample of his writing, from a piece on Edmund Wilson, leftie author of To the Finland Station:

The original dialectical composition of forces was the party of the first part, or the Thesisist, the party of the second part, the anti-thesist, and the third party of the Arbiter or Synthesist. Mr. Clinton's I.Q. began to synthesize at such a speed and at such an early stage of his career and with increasingly less inhibition and fewer moral qualms, that his own self-image as Master Synthesizer was brilliantly marketed by his propaganda minister, James Carville, into the Prince of Peace-Keeping. Ergo, we now have Trilectical Clintonianism which is, in short, whenever two or more are gathered around William Jefferson Clinton, the former President always ends up in charge. Christ has been thrown out of the board room entirely.

Yes, this is taken out of context, but when the context is just more insanity, does it make any difference?

Update: Adjust your fillings, folks: Moriarity is running for president.

Blogs away

Rocky Mountain News editor John Temple seems to have had it (up to here, baby) with blogs. Jim Sheeler's blog remains among the disappeared, John Lehndorff's from the Telluride Bluegrass Festival is long defunct, and Temple's own blog hasn't been updated since June 21.

In fact only one Rocky blog remains active, sportswriter Sam Adams', but it isn't really a blog and doesn't seem to have had much impact.

That's it.

Dog briefs

Billy Bob and one of the delinquent pelicans that hang out at Sloan Lake. A Drunkablog first.



In other dog news, the trendily named but comically slow-witted Aspen (below) is guesting here for a bit.

And actually, Aspen is very bright.


Just a little naive.

Ward Churchill--scum, and loving it

Mocking Ward Churchill and his minions is fun (and healthy), but Pirate Ballerina reports on a speech Ward gave Friday that reminds one of what sewage the man really is. It was at a forum on conscientious objection in Portland:

For those of you who do, as a matter of principle, oppose war in any form, the idea of supporting a conscientious objector who's already been inducted [and] in his combat service in Iraq might have a certain appeal.But let me ask you this: Would you render the same support to someone who hadn't conscientiously objected, but rather instead rolled a grenade under their line officer in order to neutralize the combat capacity of their unit?

Later a questioner asked:

I think it's important when you're getting into a discussion of violence and appropriate violence and self-defense, of starting to look at what you're trying to build there, what you're trying to create—for example, fragging an officer, which you were talking about before, at the beginning of your talk, the sort of trauma that that inflicts on that officer's family back home is I feel like an important thing to take into account when you try to think about what your action is trying to accomplish in the first place. I really feel like I can articulate [my question] properly, but that's the general direction I'm heading with it.

Churchill: How do you feel about Adolf Eichmann's family?

PB's got the tape. Sooner or later Ward's going to go too f--oh, wait.

Update: Pirate Ballerina also has the hilarious adventures of World Net Daily, which in their story on Churchill's Portland comments also reported as fact a PB satire in which Churchill claims he meant "Little Entenmanns" (the delicious pastries) not "Little Eichmanns" (the infamous Nazi bureaucrat of death) in his infamous essay.

Drunkablog rates the powerfists!

Leading an up-and-coming dictatorship of the proletariat? Want people to know that you have the will to power every neo-Stalinist must have? You need the right powerfist. A good powerfist serves all your propaganda needs--from raising the consciousness of the masses to instilling terror--but a weak, inappropriate, sexist or racist powerfist can send the wrong message, perhaps even make your cadres doubt the inevitability of socialist victory.

But what powerfist is right for you? Salespeople will claim to have the perfect fist, then push whatever's in stock that day. They're not looking out for your revolution. Of course, once supreme power is yours they will pay for their insolence, oh yes, but right now, retribution can wait; all you want is a good fist. Here then, Drunkablog provides a brief guide to selecting the right powerfist.

First, a few things to look for:

Is the fist left- or right-handed? Even though most people are right-handed, generally, and for obvious reasons, the left is preferred.

What color is the fist? Black and red are always in good taste, but pink and green have their place as well.

Is the fist realistic? For example, is the thumb of the fist in a position where, if the fist actually punched something, it would be broken? Or is the fist too cartoonish? Usually the most realistic (and therefore the most threatening) fist is preferred.

Finally, is the fist holding something (flowers, dove, capitalist exploiter's throat)? Or, perhaps, being thrust through something (say, prison bars)? Such extras add interest to many a plain-jane fist.

Let's look at a few samples:



Here's one from Mark Goldblatt: Left-hand, correct thumb placement, not too stylized. Good hard-working Stalinist fist. Nothing flashy.


Here's a right hand, from Peacewatch Online. Somewhat overstylized, thumb breakage likely, fist seems to be concealing sausage treat.


A fist "holding" something, from the Future of Socialist Democracy of British Columbia website. Highly stylized, thumb already broken, flower. Good only for peace group, those posing as peace group.



A fist (or is it a glove?) from Portland Indymedia. Clumsy and a little sad.



Ah, here's a nice one. Left hand, thumb properly positioned, good shadowing. The Palestine Solidarity Committee of South Africa knows their powerfists.



Two efforts from Rage Against the Machine. Left: Forget it. Half the thumb is missing. Right: Points for putting powerfist to cloth, but another crummy thumb, and the palm looks like a buttcrack. Yuck.


Cartoon-y fist from Canned Revolution. What is it with the buttcrack?



An example from the differently abled community. Very odd fist positioning.


Puhleeeze. Typical White Power proto-fist: no thumb (probably accurate for these guys); hardly any finger differentiation. Shaky styling shows artist missed his morning beers.


Finally, a work of art. From the Cult of the Subgenius, which wants only to revolutionize your mind. Bob Dobbs understands the fist.

They've disappeared Jim Sheeler's blog, too

Wonder if Rocky Mountain News editor John Temple cares that he has gotten zero comments on his post requesting feedback from readers about the RMN's ventures into blogging. (The post was in response to my criticism of his and other RMN blogs.)

Now like most other loser bloggers (redundant, ain't it?), I'm used to seeing "o comments" after my posts, and any tears I cry over it, I cry alone. But I'm a talentless and mendacious hack (she came up by googling "hack writer," by the way) of dubious sobriety (a much more obvious result) and I have nothing (more) to lose by blogging. Temple, who no doubt has been a golden boy all his professional life, must be staring into the abyss--Why doesn't anyone care about my blog?

Update: You know, I just figured out that Temple doesn't really want feedback--at least, not anymore. When he first linked to my post it was on his main page. Now that link is gone, so you have to click on "continue reading" to get to my criticisms. Now why would that be? Anybody? It wouldn't have anything to do with me calling Temple a stiff as a writer and otherwise pointing out (gently) that his blog sucks, would it?

Horatio Alger quote of the week--illustrated!

First, I've been asked to remind all friends of the ho-quo that registration with local law enforcement is MANDATORY.

This week's ho-quo includes the original illustration, which fails utterly to match what Horatio describes. Drunkablog will do better.

She is a spinster of 27, he an opportunistic lad of 22.




"'Wont [sic] you marry me?' She exclaimed; clasping her hands.

"'You—you must excuse me," said Tom edging off from her with alarm depicted upon his face.

"'Then how can I become the queen of Timbuctoo?' demanded the lady in a tone of anguish.

"'The queen of Timbuctoo!" repeated Tom in a ludicrous state of bewilderment.

"'Yes, you're the king of Timbuctoo, first consul to the emperor of Siam. Do you think I would have agreed to marry you otherwise?'

"'Where's my hat?" demanded Tom.

"'Then you're not willing to marry her?" asked the uncle.

"'Marry her! I'd rather marry a Cherokee squaw!'"

(via the Horatio Alger Digital Serials Project at Northern Illinois University, which, like Drunkablog, really needs to get a life.)

Locks box

A caller to Hewitt yesterday, a military guy if I remember aright (IIRA), described himself as "preemptively balding." Hugh didn't hear it.

Rocky editor Temple's reply to Drunkablog

In a post yesterday I assessed the Rocky Mountain News' various blogs, especially that of its editor, John Temple, and found them to be, for a variety of reasons, lame. I wrote to Temple letting him know I'd done this. Here's his response:

Thanks. I posted a link from my blog. Not sure why you think I wouldn't know what's happening with my own blog...Who do you think does it? Also, why don't you sign your e-mail or your blog?

Best,

John

He's got me there. The truth is I haven't "signed" my blog (until now) because I'm a career criminal, okay? (Just kidding. I forget that newspapers have not only sources but resources.)

As for my post, Temple avoids discussing any of the problems I mention, including why it looks like he's not all that connected to his own blog. Instead he just throws my criticism out there for comment. That's perfectly legitimate, but I wish he'd also bothered to reply specifically to my points. In particular I'd really like to know, where is Jim Sheeler?

Update: Another note from Temple: "I had noticed [that initial paragraphs in archived posts are repeated]. I was taught that it's important to do it that way because people may arrive at the blog item in different ways. some will come directly and need the context the intro provides. others will come after scanning the tops of a number of items. doesn't that make sense?"

Well, sort of. But if one looks around one will see not a single blogger whose archives are set up like that. It's just not necessary.

In any case, Temple wins on one point: judging from his replies, he is definitely involved in his blog. Good deal.

Update 5:02 pm MDT: The Search for Jim Sheeler: Day Two. Still no update on his blog. I've been to those Bath baths, man. A body--dead or alive--could stay down there a long time and nobody'd know a thing.

Update II: Do you think the Rocky has an obit ready to run on the guy?

A Rocky start to blogging

Last April Instapundit noted approvingly that Rocky Mountain News editor John Temple was starting a blog. Since then the Rocky has immersed a quivering toe in the blogwater several times, including a sports blog begun today by reporter Sam Adams.

So how's the Rocky doing with its blogging? Not so hot. They seem, in fact, both unclear on the concept and uncertain in its application.

Temple's blog, for instance, is screwed up in basic ways. For one thing, every archived post repeats its opening paragraph--Today in the news blah, blah and right below it Today in the news blah, blah. Hasn't anybody at the Rocky noticed this? Hasn't John Temple noticed this, and if not, what does that say about his involvement in his own blog?

Also, what's the deal with all the broken lines in block quotes? I mean, I know what the deal is, but again, why hasn't the designated personage fixed it?

How about content?

Okay, minor stuff. What about the content? Well, unfortunately Temple's a stiff as a writer, but he's blogged about some fun stuff, like the brouhaha between Dave Kopel and the News' Washington bureau chief John Aloysius Farrell (great name) after Kopel called Farrell a leftist. Or the e-mail exchange between Ward Churchill and Temple after the Rocky ran it's five-part series on Ward a couple of weeks ago.

Too often, though, Temple writes "editor's corner" junk about, say, a reader's question about the weather page, or, God help us, "awards" won by Rocky staff in something called the Scripps-Howard In-house Journalism Awards (Mike Littwin won a "special" award, by the way.).

What else for Temple? He doesn't post very often (three times a week at most) or link to others much. No idea what kind of traffic he gets, but five comments tops on any one post--except for the post on Churchill, which has drawn 140. Comments are unmoderated, and it shows; one commenter on the Churchill post, after berating George Bush, asks, "where's Lee Harvey when you need him?"

Other Rocky blogs

Somebody had the splendid idea of having Rocky reporter and former obituary writer Jim Sheeler blog from Bath, England, where he's attending the 7th Great Obituary Writer's Conference. Unfortunately Jim has gone on a monumental bender, or at least that is my surmise, for his latest post is from Saturday. It's now late Monday. Unless he's reeling around Bath like a Roman and therefore out of touch, why has nobody told Sheeler: blog, ya stupid kid, ya.

Another Rocky temp blog has John Lehndorff in Telluride for the bluegrass festival. Didn't read much of it, but at least he was posting. `

Don't much care about Sam Adam's blog (link above). Upshot is, the Rocky has some work to do.

Sowell-ed out

As a landlord it is sometimes necessary for Drunkablog to upbraid tenants who've behaved in ways injurious either to the Drunkablog manse (dog poop in yard, meth shack left untidy, etc.), or the Drunkablog's person (tenant offers to push Drunkablog's face completely in). Several years ago, however, Drunkablog gained some valuable perspective on landlording:


Perspective. (courtesy Rocky Mountain News).

Fred Siegel on C-Span 2, plugging The Prince of the City June 2 at Book Expo America (Expo America Book?). Says he's thinking of writing next about what's happened to liberalism. Interviewer asks, well, what's happened to liberalism? He says, "basically, a leakage of reality."

That's, I say, that's a leakage of reality, son. It's a joke, son. Try to keep, I say, try to keep up with the class, son.

By the way, I can now watch three-week-old C-Span video of the America Expo Book or anything else any time--even while blogging. That's because I bought a brand-new, 13-inch color television, manufactured by the fine Korean concern Daewoo--for $60.

I've never gotten used to how faux Indian and revolutionary blowhard Ward Churchill still has a central Illinois accent. He sounds, in fact, like my Uncle Stanley, who farmed there all his life until he married a fancy woman from Springfield who gave parties with cocktails. Now he's dead.

Odd socks will be ruthlessly suppressed.

Tom and Katie, or, True Love's Triumph

"PARIS - Tom Cruise popped the question to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower early Friday and then announced the news to the world - they're getting married."

The AP continues breathlessly, "Cruise turned to Holmes: "What did you say, darling? She said, 'Yes.' ... I've never actually been to the Eiffel Tower and I just, it's Paris, you know. It's beautiful, a beautiful city. It's very romantic. I'm excited to be here."

The Drunkawife and I visited the Eiffel Tower on our honeymoon, so naturally we wondered if while Tom was on bended knee, Katie looked demurely down at this quintessentially French view. Ah, romance.

Update: This site doesn't often "cover" Hollywood, so one more question: is Tom Cruise gay? Please feel free to respond privately by e-mail.

Horatio Alger quote of the week

Sorry, forgot yesterday:

"While this was passing between Dick and his companion, one of the boys, a rather supercilious-looking young gentleman, genteelly dressed, and evidently having a very high opinion of his dress and himself, turned suddenly to Dick, and remarked,--

'I've seen you before.'

'Oh, have you?' said Dick, whirling round; 'then p'r'aps you'd like to see me behind.'"

From Ragged Dick (1867).

Update: "p'r'aps?"

Update II: last week's ho-quo is here; historic first ho-quo (featuring "Mother Watson") is, on the other hand, here.

Update III: Here's the site of the obviously perverted Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans.

Sakes alive!

Romenesko links to a piece on two former editorial writers for the Indianopolis Star who have "sued the newspaper and its owner, Gannett Co., claiming religious, racial and age discrimination.

"[F}ormer editorial board members James Patterson and Lisa Coffey said top newsroom managers 'consistently and repeatedly demonstrated . . . a negative hostility toward Christianity.'

Well, at least it wasn't positive hostility toward Christianity. The suit claims that "Editor and Vice President Dennis Ryerson and Publisher Barbara Henry were hostile toward Christianity and Christian employees at The Star . . . . [and] strongly disagreed 'with anyone who had a biblical view of homosexuality.'

"'Lisa and I aren't the only employees that have been driven away from this company and we thought it was time for someone to say "Goodness gracious. This isn't right,"' Patterson said."

Just one comment: Theocrats habitually use this sort of extremist language ("goodness gracious") to intimidate any who oppose their attempt to make Christianity the national religion. They must be opposed with equally strong words. This post's title is my suggestion.